Finally a “dare” I can do while being separated from my wife.  That is not to say that this is something that I have been neglecting to do lately.  We are to intercede in prayer for others and I think especially for our spouse.  If we become wise, we learn that this is the only way to handle some difficulties in the relationship.

The lesson today speaks of how we cannot change our spouse.  I share the futility that most couples find or have found in trying to change our spouse to our liking.  Or at the very least to change the way they do things that annoy us.  These attempts to change our spouse can even be as subtle as how we respond to something they do, with our body language.  Do I cringe or freeze up when made uncomfortable by having unwanted attention drawn to us?  If I do, am I not being embarrassed by something that should not matter in the least.

I have to admit to a HUGE amount of discouragement at this writing.  I ask myself, “why are you doing these exercises?” and “these dares are obviously made for couples who are still together or at least able to talk to their spouse!”  I know that no matter what happens with my marriage, I need to make changes.  This book helps make me aware of what changes are needed and how to put them in place.

I know that the pain I have felt these past 5 weeks is something that makes sense Biblically.  I became “one flesh” with my wife when we married and through our growing closer together.  That “one flesh” has been torn and the center of this pain is in my chest, around my heart.  If am totally honest with myself I have to say that I do not blame my wife in the least.  I would like to think there is hope but all indications say it is not going to end the way I’d like it to end.

The last time I left home in self righteous indignation, was 2 months ago.  This indignation kept the pain of the tearing of our flesh away for 3 weeks and probably sealed the outcome of this marriage.  Truly if there is any hope at all for turning my wifes heart around, it will only be by Gods doing.

The Love Dare book talks in depth about what is needed for effective prayer.  It tells how to confront challenges with prayer and how much more effective it is than the nagging, or complaining has done.  Also it explains how the design of marriage allows us to see our spouse as they are. What are we to do with these insights?  We are to pray to God for these changes.

“Begin to pray for exactly what your mate needs. Pray for her heart. Pray for her attitude. Pray for your spouses responsibilities before God.  Pray for the truth to replace lies.  Pray that forgiveness would replace bitterness.  Pray for a genuine breakthrough in your marriage.  And then pray for your heart’s desires—-FOR LOVE AND HONOR TO BECOME THE NORM.  Pray for romance and intimacy to go to a deeper level.

One of the most loving things you can do for your spouse is to pray for them. ‘Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you’ ”  Quotes from “the Love Dare”.

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