I met my wife 17 plus years ago.  I was at a point in my life where I was very lonely for like-minded conversation in the area of beliefs and very lonely for a close relationship with a woman.  I was at once impressed with her intelligence and that she had similar life experiences that were being healed through her belief in God, through Jesus Christ.  I was left behind by believers I had grown close to for 10 plus years and sadly she felt the same way.

To find someone like my new friend was nothing less than a divine appointment as far as I was concerned.  We had a mutual friend who introduced us.  My first impressions were heady, I felt a strong physical attraction to her and her smile lit up the darkness that seemed to have made a permanent place in my heart.  Her voice was so pleasant to listen to and I was to later learn she had what I referred to as a “recording voice” with her gift of singing.  She’s a mother, believer, writer, homemaker, great cook, bakes, cans, excellent with children, energetic, enthusiastic, smarter than me, warm, loving, adventurous and so much more.  It took time to learn all the wonderful things my wife is and time to lose the freshness of these discoveries.

We both felt like we were outcasts from the church, rejected for our failings and judged without remedy.  If two or three circumstances had been different, I would have recognized immediately that she was perfect for me.  She was perfect for me, but my brain could not get around those two or three circumstances.  I became like the body of believers that rejected us.  What I believe to the very depth of my heart of my love for my wife, was wiped out by my holding on to those two or three attitudes.  Very unloving, very stupid.

We started going down different roads.  She continues on the road to a more meaningful relationship with God, exploring His grace, mercy and love.  I went back to the dark trail in my mind, the thinking of the alcoholic/addict.  Once in a while I’d break into a clearing and enjoy the wonderful healing love of my wife.  By spurts and false starts I was being directed to concentrate on the love God has for us and for the cleansing of all the darkness in my mind.

What does this have to do with todays reading in the “Love Dare”?

Todays reading reminds us that when we are interested in something we learn all there is to learn about it and listen with undivided attention when there is more to learn about our interests.  Ever talk to a Harley-Davidson enthusiast?  A true believer in whatever cause, a Food Network addict?  Yes I’m sure you have.

So we get married, the relationship starts rolling over the years and we lose the enthusiasm we had for our mate.  How sad.  I remember the disrespect I showed and voiced over my wifes telling me what she was learning and what God is teaching her.  I forgot the absolute joy I had when she would talk to me in the early years, how I loved the sound of her voice and how good I felt to be connected with her.  I know I am not alone in this turn of events or it would not appear in this book or others on marriage relationships.

One of the most poignant insights in todays reading is that, there is still a depth and hidden things to discover about our spouse.

In seeking to know our spouse better it is good to keep this in mind,  “There are reasons for his or her tastes and preferences.  Each nuance in your spouse’s character has a back story.  Each element of who he is, how he thinks, and what he’s like is couched in a set of guiding principles, which often makes sense only to the person who holds them.  But it’s worth the time it will take to study why they are the way they are.” from the “Love Dare”

Peace and Blessings

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