I like to think about Adam and Eve.  Here we have the perfect man and the perfect woman, made from Gods’ own hands.  No sin, no pain, no hardships and they walked and fellowshipped with God in the cool of the day, in the perfect place!  But this was not good enough for them!

It is said, that Lucifer was actually one of Gods’ most beautiful creations, until pride and wanting Gods’ job got him and his followers kicked out of heaven.  He can disguise himself as an angel of light and it is this beguiling creature that deceived Eve.  She saw the fruit was good, Satan got her heart involved and she acted on her desire for the forbidden fruit.  Adam came along and not wanting to lose his wife, he chose her over God.  To me it is Adams fault that mankind fell from Gods’ grace and sin entered the world.

From the eyes, to the heart, to action is the fulfillment of lust.  Most think of lust as having to do with sex, but it includes things, power and renown.  Being an addictive personality, I have struggled with sexual addiction.  This area of my personality defects is the hardest for me to own up to.  As I have aged, sexual addiction has not been the problem it was as I was growing up.

I am alone now and I look at women and have had occasion to lust, but mostly it is because I am lonely and miss the comfort of being married (see, that is a lie I’ve told myself, I lust because I sin)! My mind, when I am in my more lucid states, quickly dismisses my lusting after another woman.  Like any problem areas, if I drank or used drugs I would multiply my problems tenfold.  My first marriage was dealt a severe blow when I in my drunken mind set, stated I needed another woman.  I pursued another woman and found a woman willing to partake in a relationship with me, knowing I was married.  This makes me a recovering adulterer.

When I discovered pornography on the internet, I spent too much time exploring it.  How much is too much time?  For me, any time at all.  It was disturbing to see a beautiful act objectified and looking not much different than barnyard scenes.  It affected how I viewed women and most damaging, how I viewed my wife.

I have known my wife for 17 plus years.  Part of what enables me to quickly address my lust is my desire for my wife.  I had no idea that I would grow to appreciate what we have shared together more and more, as the years went on.  As an added bonus, when I started looking at the principles in the Love Dare book, that intimacy grew.

This subject matter is very embarrassing for me and I have had great shame over this part of my life.  I know there are men and women who have struggled in this area, and though we have asked and received forgiveness, we continue to live in shame from our past violations in the sex realm.  I witnessed a young woman get up in front of her family, peers, and a room full of strangers and admit to sexual promiscuity and prostitution to pay for drugs.  She grew up in “a good” home of Christians and went to church for much of her life.  She was on the mission field when she started her decline.  When she sang with the choir, she smiled constantly and she seemed so sweet, then she testified of what got her in to the program she is currently in.  That program is Minnesota Teen Challenge

“Lust is in opposition to love, it means to set your heart and passions on something forbidden.  And for a believer it is the first step out of fellowship with the Lord and with others…  Lust always breeds more lust…Lust will make you dissatisfied with your husband or wife.  It breeds anger, numbs hearts, and destroys marriages.  Rather than fullness, it leads to emptiness.”   It’s time to expose lust for what it really is—-a misguided thirst for satisfaction that only God can fulfill….When your eyes and heart are on Him, your actions will lead you to lasting joy, not endless cycles of regret and condemnation.”  From The Love Dare

Today’s Dare instructs us to END IT NOW.  Identify every object of lust in our life and remove it.  And replace it with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.

Although I am separated from my wife, this book has been very helpful exposing the lies I have told myself and I have learned much.  I know I love my wife and I know without a doubt it is her I desire and am lonely for.  I pray for restoration and healing, not just for my marriage but yours also.  If you are not married I pray for your success in relationships and that you would experience all God has in store for you.  If you suffer from addictions, you are not alone there are many people out here to help.

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