“A man shall leave his father and his mother; and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)

These words are often repeated at wedding ceremonies.  How many of us take them to heart or meditate on the import of this concept?  When we leave our parents and marry, it changes everything.  Parents should relegate their roles to that of encouragers and counselors, no longer trying to tell their children what to do.  When the apron strings are not cut, there is a world of trouble just waiting to manifest itself.

Beyond the family structure is the biological fact that our bodies do intertwine and physically become “one flesh” on the cellular level.  When we violate God’s command that we should be the spouse of one person, the consequences can be dire.  Think of AIDs and other sexually transmitted diseases.  I’ve heard more than once, that whomever your mate has had sex with; you have also had sex with them!  This is a disturbing image to say the least.

I have no statistics for it, but from what one hears from friends, news stories and unfortunately personal experience, the number of sexual partners one has had is increasing.  With lax sexual morays and an alarmingly high divorce rate this malady just increases.  The psychological damage and consequences resulting from not following God’s plan for marriage; are huge issues for too many of us.  Thank God, the one flesh fulfillment goes beyond sexual expression.

We are to renew our minds by reading and studying the Word, we are to take our thoughts captive.  When our past presents itself in the form of former lovers or spouses, this is an area where taking our thoughts captive is absolutely necessary.  That jealousy arises is natural, we are programmed for one mate and when that is not a reality, jealousy raises its ugly head.  What we do with these jealousies is important.  We are not to shame our mate, or be disgusted by thinking unsavory thoughts about their past.

The cleaving concept was something that did not come easy for me and I confess to having struggles with it still.  “This man is now the spiritual leader of your new home, tasked with the responsibility of loving you “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:33).  This woman is now one in union with you, called to “see to it that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).”

As a result of our becoming “one flesh”, we are to be able to reach agreement in our decision making.  Our priorities come in line with each other as we follow God’s plan for our lives.  “You are able to achieve oneness in your sexual affections toward each other, even if either or both of you have memories of impurity in your pre-marital past (or from previous marriages.)”.   Anything is possible if we walk in fullness of what God wants for us in “one flesh”.

“If this is not how things are going in your home right now, you’re unfortunately in the majority.  It’s not out of character for couples of all kinds—-even Christian couples—- to ignore God’s design for marriage, thinking they know better than He does. … But you do have to live it, or there’s nothing else to expect than disunity.”  All quotes from The Love Dare except where noted otherwise.

Disclaimer:  I am expert only at failing in the concepts covered in The Love Dare.  My wife and I remain separated and hope of reconciliation is dim at best.

You may ask if I believe in these concepts and if so, why?   I recognize the principles laid out in this book as Spiritual Law, as real as Natural Laws, in fact more so.  Spiritual principles from the Bible have delivered me from alcohol and other addictions, undoubtedly saving my life.  It boils down to believing what God says, whether I am experiencing the promises in His Word, or not.  His word is true.

Peace & Blessings