“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.” Proverbs 16.32

I received some feedback to a comment I left on a blog post written by two people I greatly admire. They write exclusively about marriage and what it means to become “one flesh” with your spouse. The response included a comment about God opening and closing doors, and to, “go through the open ones with joy and rejoicing and quit knocking your head against the closed ones”. I am a slow learner, stubborn and thick skulled, so I know I knock my head on the closed doors too often. The problem is I am slow to recognize closed doors, the metaphorical ones, I run into real closed ones less frequently. I don’t know if they consider me writing and going through The Love Dare is one of those closed doors.

We are to pray that God’s will be done in our lives and to have “expectant faith”. I think it is helpful to know what God’s Will is, so I can have expectant faith. Problem here is there are almost as many opinions on what God’s Will is concerning divorce as there are Christians. I firmly believe it is not God’s will for Christians to divorce. It is also not God’s will to engage in the activities or manner of conduct that leads to divorce. Being angry and letting your spouse know just how they have disappointed you is not appropriate, nor is being so sensitive that every unkind word is taken as a dagger to your heart.

We are responsible to learn what leads us to being irritable, and it is not the fault of our spouse. We can be stressed and distraught over our present situation, but the best response is to seek God in prayer and study, to learn His solution. I’ll say it again; when I respond in anger it is a lazy approach, letting my feelings dictate how I respond to others and how long I choose to remain in an “off” mood. It takes effort to seek God’s word on the problem, to seek out godly counsel takes humility. God’s solutions are always the best ones! If we pray instead of responding in an angry manner, we will not hurt anyone. Hurting our God given spouse should be the very last thing we should do, but seems to be the first thing we do when irritable.

We must study and pray. If we accept what other Christians are saying, without studying God’s word for ourselves, we will not know if we are given wrong advice. If we do not fellowship with God through prayer, we may miss what He has to say. I have received some excellent counsel and heard some bad counsel from well-meaning Christians (in the past). I am blessed to have several Christians that “rightly divide the Word” giving counsel at this time. The scripture teaches us to establish something “by the words of two or three witnesses”, this applies to scriptures some quote to support their beliefs.

This chapter in “The Love Dare” is another good one, read it, apply it and let me know what you think.