I will be adding another new post in a day or so, time to get some of these bottled up thoughts out again!
There have been many people viewing my blog by searching “Joseph Prince and Divorce”. If you are not familiar with his ministry it is very good on the teaching of Grace. I have followed his daily devotionals and read a book of his. He refers to restored marriages but says they are rare (restored after a divorce) yet encourages us to believe it possible. I would love to hear from readers and stumblers upon their experiences with divorce and remarriage or their use of the ‘Love Dare” book.
If you are a follower of the teachings of Joseph Prince and are facing divorce, please open up dialogue here.
My main reader and contributor died this past year. Katie Mitten-Smith was her name and she is sorely missed, I lost a friend and a prayer warrior partner with her passing.
The apostle Paul says quite plainly that as Christians we are to be reconciled or remain single, (scripture reference to follow). Clearly this practice is not a common one. I sometimes wonder if church leaders and pastors shy away from teaching that would require some sacrifice or hard work to follow. I hope teaching is not going out just to satisfy and therefore keep members or contributors to the ministry happy.
Hope to hear from you!
Stan “Pops”
cottonwoodlindy
Nov 22, 2011 @ 05:44:21
Oh Stan, Your life has been filled with grief and loss in the past year. I am so sorry–it is never easy to lose a connection these days ( we have so few the older we get) Sending you a comfort hug and will light the clarity and strength candles.
Linda
PS Even though I don’t feel I have much to contribute to your writings I do enjoy reading them my friend…
popsdumonde
Nov 23, 2011 @ 00:28:27
Thanks Linda. There has been much loss this past year, but I know that someday I will be enjoying the company of those I love who have gone on before me. The loss of my marriage has served as a powerful tool to get me back on track spiritually and I have grown from the experience. I have reconnected with and made so many new friends this past year also, so that part has been great!
zzzisle
Nov 22, 2011 @ 08:38:26
hi, is this a blog devoted to joseph prince’s sermons on grace?
popsdumonde
Nov 23, 2011 @ 00:25:01
No it isn’t but I will be discussing that theme and would very much like to dialogue with you and others about it. Thanks for reading!
Diane
Dec 27, 2011 @ 06:34:35
Oh wow! I am so glad I found this blog! I am a fan of Joseph Prince and his messages on grace has truly changed my life! I specifically searched for “Joseph Prince on divorce and remarriage” because I can’t settle in my mind what Paul teaches on the subject with the “everyday” church’s acceptance of the practice of divorce and remarriage. My position has been very unpopular among friends. I had a disagreement of sorts with a friend who is more leniant on the subject and I told him that I have heard of several testimonies from members of my church who have stood in the gap to be reconciled to their spouses and have! Some have waited for years, but it IS possible.
Diane
popsdumonde
Dec 28, 2011 @ 00:10:15
Thanks Diane! It is a great encouragement for me to hear that you adhere to Biblical teaching on divorce. You are so right, it is not popular. I think one of the reasons it is so unpopular is because we have so many in the church who have divorced and remarried and perhaps find themselves in a similar situation yet again. Guilt, loneliness and our own desires seem to be constantly at odds with the Bibles’ teaching in many areas of our lives. I certainly do not like the situation I am in, I have taken responsibility for my part in my divorce, but my former wife at this point wants nothing to do with even the thought of reconciling. I definitely understand the hardening of her heart, I have hardened my heart towards God many times but He always has a way to break my hardness!
Stan
Wow
Oct 27, 2012 @ 15:00:42
Prince Joseph has apparently divorced his wife. Caused the divorce of a close friend and has apparently remarried my friends ex wife!! This is why you never know to trust these ministries.
popsdumonde
Oct 27, 2012 @ 21:28:40
This is news to me. I think the lesson I take from these events is that our eyes need to look to Jesus rather than His representatives, He is truth. If this is true about Joseph prince it is very disappointing and in my opinion a terrible witness and contrary to what God teaches regarding marriage.
Paul
Oct 23, 2013 @ 04:46:39
This cannot possibly be true. I live in Singapore and started visiting this tiny State (it is a city not a country; but one without any external debt and a $500 billion surplus. So they are doing something right which the “Christian” West is definitely missing). I have been visiting New Creation Church with my Chinese wife for more than a year (i married very late at 48 after a twelve-year mainly long-distance via email, phone and internet romance, from three different continents). I wish we had married sooner but my wife was uncertain and somewhat emotionally unstable due to many servere stressors in her immediate family. For my part, some of the delay was due to a porn addiction which i wanted to end before marriage. I have been much blessed by the truth and grace that Joseph Prince has liberally and definitively been empowered to deliver in our Sunday services. Regarding grace vs law, i think he is something of an expert. Perhaps because he is taught by the Spirit and open to correction unlike many Bible School graduates who are jot even born again, i think this is one secret of why his ministry is so powerful. Recently this church had a new meeting centre built for the congregation, at a budgeted $500,000,000. This has to, to some extent, speak to the lost world about what can be accomplished by faith. I am not a big believer in buildings or projects and i do not believe such make up much of the Kingdom (because it is saved souls who make up the Kingdom of God and Christ), however, it is definitely a great place to house a congregation and to bring your friends to hear the gospel. But, is Joseph Prince unbalanced? For myself, as a Christian since my early twenties, i can honestly say (and i have been part of more than six churches in different countries) Mr. Prince has shone a bright, bright light on some of the Word of God which are absolutely essential not only for true understanding and reasoning between a soul and God about the reality of salvation and eternal life in Christ; he has enabled me to see in a new and different way truths which i thought i already understood…and to begin (even slightly) to appreciate in awe the magnitude of what Jesus has done for me and for a lost and sinful world. To be fair, sometimes i hear something from Prince which is a bit unbalanced or excessive or not even true about salvation or about the gospel (for example, speaking in tongues); but every preacher has faults. I have heard many…but i think Mr. Prince has a strong grip on some very deep truths about salvation which the mainline churches and many other churches of today miss, misunderstand, distort, warp, or worse, bury in the ground or ignore — to the destruction of those millions of needy and lost people around them! In my home church in Canada, i do also receive blessing; but there is a strong emphasis on keeping the commandments (Law mixed with Grace). I think as we mature into the fullness of Christ, we will not repeat the evils we chose to do as nonbelievers and even as believers; but we will be joined with Christ as one spirit…and that is eternal life and true happiness.
Faith Thomas
May 06, 2014 @ 03:07:04
Amen. This is true. God’s grace does not promote sin but rather helps us to overcome it. We have crucified our flesh n the desires thereof. We live by the spirit n do not live by the flesh thereby not fulfilling the lust of it. The Grace of God has been made freely available to overcome addictions n all weaknesses because His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. We just have to apply it. Where sin abounds grace also abounds not to continue in sin but rather live above it. For after all the penalty for sin has been paid by Christ. We don’t have to succumb to temptation. Grace has set us free from the law of sin n death !! There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus and walk after the Spirit so if we walk after the spirit we will not fulfill the lust of the flesh!
Faith Thomas
Richmond, VA
popsdumonde
May 06, 2014 @ 22:32:36
Amen! Thank you so much for writing and spending the time to read these posts!
Marcia
Nov 04, 2013 @ 02:47:40
Hi Paul,
Praise the Lord!
I am so glad to hear that you have experienced being set free (in several ways) by the Holy Spirit-filled teachings of Pastor Joseph Prince. I, too, have been immeasurably blessed by the teachings of the Holy Spirit through this servant of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Paul, could I ask you to elaborate more on your mention of “speaking in tongues” (that is, Pastor Prince’s teaching on this blessed gift that God has given to His children?)
God bless you.
Much appreciated in love,
Sis. Marcia
Rudolf
Dec 12, 2013 @ 09:40:03
Amen, good to hear
authorshellyarkon
Sep 04, 2014 @ 14:38:46
You have found a new follower. Good topic. Remarriage. From my experience with churches, they ignore this topic.
I’ve been married 5 times. ***blushing from embarrassment*** I’ve learned from actually reading the Bible MYSELF, that I’m in absolute error here. I am an adulterous. And I need to leave my current marriage of 7 years and it isn’t going to be easy. I have to hurt someone who has never hurt me like my other 4 did.
popsdumonde
Sep 04, 2014 @ 16:59:35
Authorshellyarkon, thanks for reading and commenting. Why do you feel you need to divorce your current husband?
authorshellyarkon
Oct 20, 2014 @ 17:02:52
One, I was actually his third mistress. His other two wives were mistresses before marriage. Two, when married, it was done by a gay rabbi. Two, God’s judgement is upon us. We both have health issues below our waists.. Won’t go into detail. Three, his kids are a mess. So are mine. Four, one day last year I asked God to show me my sins because I didn’t want to be an abomination to him. He spoke and I began searching His word and it couldn’t be anymore black and white.
Now, I have to figure out how to tell him. Where I’m gonna go and how I’m going to afford to live. Or if it’s okay in God’s eyes to stay celebate. I’ve been this way for 6 months now.
Completely Confused
Oct 19, 2014 @ 22:52:31
I’m here too, when and how did you come to your conclusion?
authorshellyarkon
Oct 20, 2014 @ 14:34:29
I asked God to show me my sins. Things in my life are awry. Two of my daughters are addicts, just to name a few. Anyway, I asked He spoke and His word confirms it.
And I feel greatly disturbed in my spirit when I’m near my current hubby and avoid any sexual contact. Right now, I’m in a car shop so I can’t reference any scripture correctly.
But God has spoken to my spirit that I’m a lot like the woman at the well.
Sent from my iPhone
>
Completely Confused
Oct 20, 2014 @ 16:57:52
I’m having the same struggle. God Bless and guide you.
authorshellyarkon
Oct 20, 2014 @ 17:20:50
Thank you. I’ve been searching for somewhere to talk about this. My Christian friends have rebuked me for this. But then again a lot of them are remarried.
I’ve now included fasting once a week to seek God even more. After the high holy days, I plan on talking to my Rabbi. Go to a Messianic synagogue.
Sent from my iPhone
>
Completely Confused
Oct 20, 2014 @ 17:56:44
There was a site I quoted that I found after reading what you wrote. http://www.biblicalresearchreports.com/divorceandremarriage.php
Haven’t read all of it yet, but I kind of had a feeling that all the people telling me I am “free” might not have it quite right since I could not match their words with God’s word.
authorshellyarkon
Oct 20, 2014 @ 23:30:02
Thank you. I will check this out.
Sent from my iPhone
>
Completely Confused
Oct 20, 2014 @ 17:51:35
Been speaking to my “husband” about it for awhile. We are agreed celibate at this point and permanently so. I have told him that he must do what is best for his soul/relationship with God too, so if the struggle with impure thoughts becomes an issue we will need to separate. We have two small children and will try, so long as God does not object, to live as Christian friends and platonic co-parents. Neither of us have any desire to return to our previous marriages. We will serve God in a celibate lifestyle and follow God’s lead on where He wants to take us from here. One of the hardest parts, acceptance of a “single” life and admitting guilt, is past. We want to serve God HIS way, not ours. God Bless you lady and best of luck. Just as a thought, it occurred to me that perhaps God can use people like us to minister to the needs of those struggling with sexual sins. Perhaps we can be used to show that a choice CAN be made to do what God commands in spite of our “natural tendency” and that with God’s help we can die to self and crucify our flesh to walk whole-heartedly in the Spirit of Grace. I posted my long story on here…then I read your comment…I searched some more and found confirmation to end to the sin of sexual intimacy with anyone other than my “first and lawful husband”. I thank you for standing for God’s Word when it is not at all easy or appreciated by the people. The Peace of God be with you.
Faith Thomas
Sep 04, 2014 @ 18:52:45
This I am so confused about. I’m eagerly n earnestly seeking answeres. My very controlling husband committed adultery continuously for about 6 years behind my back. I left him. Does this mean I cannot marry again ?
popsdumonde
Sep 06, 2014 @ 00:46:31
I think you need to search the scriptures and teaching on divorce and come to your own decision Faith. Our first and primary relationship needs to be with God and He will direct our paths. I believe God knows our needs better than we ourselves and He desires to give us what we need. As for me I want to do God’s will and pray I am attentive to that. I do not want to get legalistic nor do I wish to harden my heart towards my former wife or anyone for that matter.
Faith Thomas
Sep 09, 2014 @ 22:07:31
Stan,
I just feel like God is going to give me a husband after His own heart. When I married my husband (some 23 years ago) it was not out of love but rather was arranged by parents ( we are from east India). So there was no dating or getting to know each other. I was a believer… A very new believer because I had just gotten born again. I was only 21. However God sent a man of God to warn me and told me to wait. However I had no choice since the announcement among the communities and church was made and withdrawing could have resulted in great shame for both families n all parties involved in the alliance. I did not want to dishonor my parents.
From day one I knew I had walked into a pit of no return. I cried to God everyday. Finally deliverance came to me when his mistress put him in jail for assault n battery. I took that small window of opportunity to escape. He’s living with another woman now. This is the third one since the separation. He also has the audacity to talk about reconciliation while living in sin. I know for a fact that God has delivered me from Egypt n will not send me back into bondage. I’m extremely sure of this.
I applied for divorce. He contested. I cannot afford an attorney. He can. He said he will make sure he will prolong the nightmare until such time as I get so old that I will never be able to marry again. I’m 45 now.
Everything is at a stand still now. I don’t love him. I don’t even like him. I have forgiven him. The truth is I never loved him from day one. I was very dutiful n faithful n had concern for him only as a fellow human. No romance. No love. Intimacy was torture.
Anyway long story short …. I know in the situation with divorce each case is unique. Each case is different. My husband COMMITING adultery continuously opened the door for me to escape from an alliance/bondage that was never ordained by God to begin with. What God put together no man should put as sunder. What man put together …..definitely can get put assunder. Mine’s the latter. It was not divinely ordained. Before he was removed from my life God told me he was going to do it.
In the days to come I do not know how this story will end. God is the author n finisher. I’m just watching n waiting. I know God loves me too much to push me back into that pit.
Tell me what you think. Please tell me honestly without restraint.
Thank u,
Faith Thomas
Completely Confused
Oct 19, 2014 @ 23:08:08
You’re not going to like this, I’m not even saying I could do it, but we are encouraged to live in each personal relationship as if we are serving Christ, Jesus Himself, not the people that are broken and sinful but as to the Savior of our souls. The good, the bad; our “light and salt” may be what is needed to help the lost heart. I’m in my own mess, so I definitely don’t know everything but this is pretty cut and dry if you are holding Christ as your center at this point in your life.
That said, you know that a divorce over adultery is allowed; the issue of remarriage is one I don’t understand myself and being IN a remarriage myself, whether it is God trying to get my attention or the devil trying to take my attention off God, the remarriage had become a serious place of struggle and heart-break. I’m so lost and confused I don’t even know which way is what. I would seriously advise, like Paul would, do NOT remarry; there is just too much struggle that takes away from our relationship with God when we have a marriage to deal with. Stay single and serve God with your whole heart; don’t give yourself a stumbling block of problems. You will never know what the next relationship will turn into or how badly it can turn out. Even if there was a was to know it’d be fantastic, you don’t know how long you’d have them and seeing someone you love suffer, get sick and/or die is heartbreaking and can lead to serious struggle. Good luck and God Bless.
P.S. Please feel free to leave me your heartfelt, prayerful comments on my issue as well. Thank you.
Completely Confused
Oct 19, 2014 @ 22:48:57
Hi, well if any of you know how to deal with this, let me know:
I was married, the first time, at 19, in a courthouse, to a
man
who
was not the father of my two children. We both cheated and
neither were
“born again” believers. We divorced, and I married another
man, in a
church,
though I knew I didn’t really love him. I had gotten
pregnant and it was
supposedly the “thing to do” in that situation. I
cheated, we
divorced…my
choice.
I have “believed” in God and Jesus Christ, my whole life,
but I think it
was only at this point, AFTER the second divorce, that I
asked Jesus into
my
life “for real”; though I did not actually start LIVING
a Christian life,
as
I had no idea what that really meant. I knew I needed
Jesus, I knew I was
a
sinner and I knew my life was a mess and I didn’t like
it. So, there I
was,
three kids out of wedlock, two divorces and a lifestyle of
sex, drugs and
every sin…and in it, to my great shame, I did continue to
abide.
A while later, I started being convicted of the
“divorce = no new
marriage” and actually spoke to a minister about this. I
was convinced
that
this was a message to me, from God. That was all good and
acceptable to
me
as I was technically single and didn’t WANT to be
married. Then, about a
year later, give or take, I met a man…
I thought, okay, I’ll get serious about this “Christian
walk” and I’ll
ask
this man if he is agreeable to living a godly life and both
of us getting
baptized. If he will, we will get married and live a holy
life for God. I
reasoned: baptism will wash away my past and all my sins
will be forgiven
by
confession and real commitment to the Christian life; I
will be a new
creation…right? After all, I had NEVER been baptized in
the name of
Jesus.
(I confess that I was looking for a loophole.) So, the very
day of our
church wedding, we were both baptized in the name of Jesus
and then on to
the church to join ourselves in “marriage” we went. Believe
it or not, as
the church doors opened, for our exit from church, after
the preacher
“joined us before God and man” hundreds of little pink
blossom petals
blew on a warm and gentle breeze right into the church and
down the aisle
before
us. Had God’s nature strewn its perfume, beauty and life
before us in a
feast for the senses? Was our marriage acceptable and
sanctified?
So, the marriage was insane for years, two very
hard-headed, divorced,
insecure and untrusting people (and untrustworthy
adulterers) trying to
live
together in a forever covenant of commitment to each other.
We were
verbally
and physically aggressive, belligerent and cruel. We once
broke every
glass
thing we owned, from mirrors to glasses. Whew! Not fun.
Sure, we’d
sometimes
read a Bible or go to church but mostly we drank too hard
on Saturday to
make it to church on Sunday even if we had wanted to go. I
did read less
secular books and a lot more Christian stuff. We’d even
say prayers near
religiously before meals and before bed. All this time we
are drinking
and
partying and running around just like the old us. Yet, we
were supposed
to
be new and I began praying that we would have our “own”
child and our
marriage would become holy. We had 4 children between us,
but none that
came
from our union. I prayed and prayed. Our behavior improved
after
awhile, we were much mellower, and less likely to have
explosive battles
of
the will; but no child.
After a few more years, aka: after I quit
partying/drinking all the
time,
(…yes, I realize I was STILL not living a Christian life)
I began to be
convicted by the “don’t marry again” verses. I was so
stressed out and
confused as I’d read them. I’d cringe and get nervous
when I knew a verse
on
this topic was coming up in my reading. Sometimes I’d
skip them
altogether.
I’d say; “yes, God, I hear You. I know I ignored You
and disobeyed You
but
what do You want me to do about it? It seems a little too
late now!”
Stress,
guilt, condemnation and depression billowed over me and
suffocated my
life…I
was seriously stuck. Through this, God led me to be drink
free and to
rely
on Him, not alcohol, to cope with this life.
Finally, and I mean after years of this stress,
conviction and strain;
“finally” I came clean to God about how I had deliberately
and willfully
disobeyed Him. I really HUMBLED my heart and my life before
Him and His
righteousness. I truly repented of what I had done to
manipulate the Word
to
get “my way”. I confessed that God is always right, I
confessed that I
had
heard Him, that I blatantly sinned against Him and I was
completely wrong
and I had acted in evilness of heart. I begged forgiveness.
I honestly
said
I would do whatever God wanted me to do if He’d just show
me. And
mercifully, I felt a huge weight lifted off of me. I felt
freed and more
importantly, I felt close to God.
There was no more condemnation over any of those verses.
I was forgiven
and
free…and I thought I had my answer about what I needed to
do. I suddenly
believed that all I had needed to do all along was humble
myself before
God
and repent of being disobedient. I figured that the hard
times of this
marriage was the reason God had tried to stop me and that I
had to live
with
it now and try to make the best of it.
I got pregnant about two years later. We finally had
“our” family.
And…then things between us got worse again.
Now, due to things like a dead, or pretty nearly dead,
sex life (due to
lack of interest; mostly on my part, simple tiredness; on
both parts and
actual medical issues; also on my part), a total lack of
emotional
intimacy
and seemingly unanswered prayers for a better marriage that
glorifies God
and brings us joy, disinterest has manifest in all areas
and we live
basically like roommates who fight if we discuss our
relationship with
one
another or our relationship(s) with God. Yet, we rarely
fight, we just
live
alone; together. And I have begun to be bombarded with the
idea that we
should not be married and those same verses of adultery
have begun to
convict me again!
We have two kids together since my coming clean with God
and repenting
of
my behavior. Just a few short years after that confessing
and repenting
time
and the peace I had felt over the situation, we were
blessed with
offspring.
I have also been studying, praying, seeking and, I thought,
finding
myself
closer to God like never before.
I am so confused; why is it that I feel these things
again? I’ve read
those
verses dozens of times since repenting and felt NO
condemnation at all!
I’ve
been consistently and daily studying and reading God’s
Word in a way I
never
had in my whole life. In these last few days, I keep asking
or thinking
that
to divorce will cause hurt and hardship to us, our
children, our families
and our friends. What could it possible heal or solve?
We’ve been
together
for 12 years! To live together in celibacy seems
impossible, for my
husband’s sanity especially, even though sex is rare now,
we do still
have
it. That choice would likely cause more stress and strain
in our
household
and a whole other kind of negative environment.
So, here I am, knowing that what I really want most of
all to do as God
wills for me (because as we can see, my way STINKS!). Yet,
I want and
need
to be 100% sure that I am actually sure of WHAT it is
exactly that God
wants
me to do. I know God will provide if He calls me out, but I
have two
toddlers and nowhere to go, no family to go to, no friends
to go to, no
home
of my own to go to. Am I supposed to leave my children
too? I KNOW I
have
put myself here; I just need to know for sure if I am to
cease from
sexual
relations with my husband and live celibate, leave my
husband, leave my
whole family or continue in this marriage, serving and
abiding in Christ
as
servant, mother and wife.
The last time we had sex, I read some of my Bible afterward
and I
happened
to see Phinehas’ name in my OT reading; I knew
immediately that he was
counted righteous for killing a couple because the man had
not “put away”
his unlawful “wife”(?). Then Hebrews 13:4 followed
Phinehas for my NT;
“…adulterers God will judge.” This is the kind of
thing that has been
popping up over the last week or so and making me feel
uncomfortable.
Am I crazy or would it have made more sense to keep on
convicting me of
guilt until we separated BEFORE the kids? Okay, that’s
not the question;
the
question is, as you read this, after you read this, has God
put anything
on
your heart about the situation? Do you have a word in
season one way or
the
other? If you haven’t truly felt the Spirit move you,
please do not reply
with simply an opinion, I seriously need help. Thank
you.
popsdumonde
Oct 20, 2014 @ 02:05:58
Thanks for sharing, I would like to reply but need to read your posts again prayerfully. Please keep in mind your relationship with God is the most important relationship of all and He provide wisdom, if asked for and answers to your questions. God bless you, thanks again.
Completely Confused
Oct 20, 2014 @ 13:47:24
I think, quite possibly, all the answers can be found here: http://www.biblicalresearchreports.com/divorceandremarriage.php#actadultery
Perhaps we just do not wish to see them because we want to be justified in having the good that God intended for us AFTER we have already destroyed that option by our blindness and intentional ignorance of Scripture; perhaps even our blatant rejection of Christianity and intentional sin for self-pleasing. I’ve owned a Bible most of my life, I knew what it was and I believed in God. That I did not read the Scripture and that I followed secular teaching and took no thought to the Word in my actions is not to be blamed on God. It is not God’s Word that is unfair but my past behavior that was wrong. I think, perhaps, the other lady is right and the adulterous relationship must be ended, the only question is if it is possible to retain the family unit under total celibacy without committing mental adultery. If not, a total separation may very well be required. It is quite heartbreaking but such is the consequences of sin.
I have been seeking advice to find the Biblical answer to this conundrum, not a human one. Had I sought the human one, I have already gotten a “green light” from several ministries. The problem with that is that God is not going to say “What did my shepherds tell you to do” what He is going to say is “What did I tell you to do” When that day comes, we might find it too hard to tap dance around what the Bible clearly states is adultery.
The site I gave states:
“Jesus makes it clear that adultery occurs in remarriage. This is stated clearly in the following passages:
“whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” (Matt. 5:32);
“whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery” (Matt. 19:9);
“Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.” (Mark. 10:11,12);
“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” (Lk. 16:18);
“So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.” (Rom. 7:3)
The term “adultery” is the Greek word “moichao” Strong’s number 3429. In all the Greek lexicons (dictionaries) I checked there was only one definition given for this word and that is “to commit adultery”. Thayers adds, “to have unlawful intercourse with another’s wife””
I don’t know what will happen but I know that if I die living in an intentional state of adultery, I will not get into the Kingdom. We all need to be clear on that, if we look for a way to be “justified” in our behaviors instead of glorifying God, we will have a serious shock in the end. We must not seek to justify ourselves but to glorify God.
Ashley
Oct 12, 2016 @ 11:39:32
Jesus calling a devotional by Sarah Young has helped me grow in my life and it helps you see yourself through Gods eyes 😇 Prayerfully consider this book it is amazing and I believe it can change your life for the better. God bless you 🙏🏻
Faith Thomas
Oct 20, 2014 @ 14:31:47
According to you my lady most of the population of America is going to hell!!
Here is the real definition for adultery… When a man or woman looks at another man or woman to lust after him or her in his or her heart, she or he has already committed adultery. Wow…. Words of Jesus. The letter klleth but the Spirit gives life. There is no such thing as a small sin or big sin. Sin is sin and Christ has paid the price for all sin for those who would accept His total and complete sacrifice which brings us total n complete forgiveness of all our sins past, present, n future. The bigger sin I would say is to willfully stay in a marriage relationship not ordained by God. Get out quickly and wait patiently for the true match and choice of God.
When Jesus spoke those words, he was still speaking to a population under the curse of the law. The new covenant into which we have been ingrafted begins with Jesus on the coss n not Jesus in a manger. Don’t stay in a marriage n be bound to tradition when u clearly know this was not God’s choice or plan for u to begin with. When u get out of that bondage make sure u wait on God to make every single move because now He becomes your husband. He has some one specific for u if u truly desire to be married. Let the Holy Spirit guide n lead u. When the true match of God comes along u will know it because the Bible says that the blessing of The Lord maketh rich and He adds no sorrow to it. They that follow the law must keep the entire law for when u break one part of it u break them all. Be careful then not to trample under foot the gospel of grace n reject His forgiveness n live in condemnation which could potentially take one to hell. Isaiah says speaking of God’s blessings… None shall want or lack her mate (Isaiah 34:16).
When u do finally wait n receive God’s mate for u and marry that person, u will be in the perfect will of God. This is not COMMITING adultery.
Faith Thomas.
You could send your comments also to my email faithpthomas@gmail.com
Completely Confused
Oct 20, 2014 @ 16:18:22
Wow, first of all it is not “according to [me]”, I do not believe those words are my own. I have had some serious struggle with this and I have been in the Word about this repeatedly. It is not only the words of Christ but also the NT apostles and the early church. Please check out the last chapter of the Revelation (22:15) of Jesus Christ. I want more than anything to please God, not men; myself being included in this definition of “men”. I gave you the biblical reasoning for my present position in this horrendous struggle brought on myself by my own sin. Feel free to give the biblical answer for how we can ignore, not only the direct command of God, Jesus Christ incarnate but, also, the God ordained apostles of the early church, called to teach us the WAY. Perhaps you do have a biblical answer that what they all said wasn’t really what they meant or that it somehow no longer applies. I absolutely assure you that I would LOVE to hear it! There is not a lot better than doing the will of God and it being exactly what one wants as well. So, please, lay it on me. I’m all ears and open to EVERY word you have to speak opening the Scripture to me in edification and lifting up! PLEASE! I’ve heard and listened intently to JP and am thoroughly convinced that much of what he says is accurate HOWEVER he has yet to convince me Scripturally or Spiritually that the issue of living in intentional sinful behavior is forgiven and we will all go to heaven and be welcomed as sons/daughters of God. My own search has yet to find anything but the exact opposite of this particular part of JP’s teachings. The mildest thing that will happen is that those of us who behave this way will be “least” in the kingdom; but hey, if “in the kingdom” is all we want, we’re good…right?
God is not going to ask you or me what JP said on a subject and if we listened to JP. God cares that we listen to HIM and do what HE says. We are to test the spirits (JP’s included) against the Word of God. I don’t particularly care what JP says when and if it directly contradicts the Word of GOD; what is on the line is MY soul (and yours). Prince is right about a lot of things but he is not Christ and he is not infallible. God does NOT change.
Please tell me where in the Bible we are told one time that there is a “one” for us ordained by God. Marriage is our CHOICE not some predestined second half of us that we must “find”.
Scripture clearly indicates that some of us who think we are getting into the Kingdom are not going to (the reason we are warned to work out our OWN salvation with fear and trembling?). How do we ignore the follow up in Galatians 5 :16 “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. 18 But IF ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things SHALL NOT inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against SUCH there is no law. 24 And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”
Tell me, how do we justify this? Just because Paul had said circumcision avails nothing and to try to be JUSTIFIED by works in obeying the law does not work, does not mean we are given a pass to ignore the edicts of God to fit into modern society or appease our own minds and fulfill the LUSTS of our own flesh. We CANNOT pick and choose what fits for us and toss what does not thinking God will “forgive” our blatant disregard to His will for our lives. To numb our mind with things we want to believe that are unbiblical is a dangerous thing and likely what leads to “many are called, FEW are chosen”
I thought, upon stumbling on your site, that you were seeking GOD’s will and God’s truth in this, just as I am. I am seriously questioning that idea at this point. You seem to have already decided what you believe on this topic.
Do not say “according to you” when I’m giving you what I absolutely believe to be in context quotes from scripture; tell me instead how either the context is incorrect, where I have misquoted or where the Bible clearly spells out that a time said no longer applies.
Jesus spoke many times of the KINGDOM of heaven and those who would not be getting in. He spoke of those who BELIEVE, those who CALL Him LORD and yet rejected His teaching.
This does not indicate that He was speaking of a “before” the crucifixion/resurrection but, instead, the END of ages. Show me where that is wrong. JP likes to say that many things Jesus said somehow only applied to Jesus’ lifetime and the past. WHY would Jesus come to draw people to the Kingdom and then only teach on the things that applied for a few short years? “Hi, I’m God and I’m here to tell you that you are doing worse than you thought and the teaching on this teaching is for now and forever. Then, I’m also going to tell you things that you must do that only apply to the next few months or years. After that, you will all be free to guess; or better yet, do whatever you feel comfortable doing, after all, I’m going to die a horrid death so you can just disregard everything God says is right and do instead the things He hates and later we’ll all be a happy family; all I require is that you stifle conscience and do not feel condemned when doing the things God hates! Awesome, huh? Talk about good news! You can do whatever you want, and as long as you don’t feel bad about it and think you walk mostly with God, you are covered by my blood!” True, we are not justified by our behavior but we are not given a free pass to contradict the will of God either.
I’m not sure how these things compliment one another all the time but there seem to be clear teachings of people who THINK they are going to the Kingdom or that they SHOULD be and who will instead be quite surprised to find that they are not. Jesus said in Matthew 5:18 “For truly I say to you, UNTIL HEAVEN AND EARTH PASS AWAY, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished. 19 “WHOEVER then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and TEACHES others to do the same, shall be called least IN THE KINGDOM of heaven; but WHOEVER KEEPS AND TEACHES THEM, he shall be called great IN THE KINGDOM of heaven.”
Also,
John 14: 23…”If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 “He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me.…
So, is He talking about what His followers do before or after the Crucifixion/resurrection or after? He’s not saying you are saved by it, by it sure doesn’t look like it no longer applies. How shame faced will we be to be called LEAST because we refused to listen to the Word of God.
Finally, as I think this is a debate to be had in public as it affects a huge population, I’d rather not e-mail this, people need to hear it, we need to deal with it. I hope you do have an answer for me that we’ll all like better. That said, the only right and true answer is God’s and the only way to be sure of God’s word is a direct personal revelation and manifestation of God Himself telling you a thing and/OR His Holy Word.
If you think for one second I would EVER marry again…well, I will NEVER, ever, ever marry again. Quite frankly, the thought is sickening. To leave the father of my children and to even have any imagination of God having “someone else” in mind is repulsive; one thing I know, God will not force me to remarry anyone else, ever and there is no desire of that in me at all.
Faith Thomas
Oct 20, 2014 @ 18:59:46
I am beginning to understand more n more that issues of marriage n remarriage n divorce r extremely personal n related to individual situations. I come from the East Indian culture where the “d” word is the unthinkable. But I also know that my so called “arranged marriage of convenience” is far from the perfect will of God. Also Jesus did say that in the case of “adultery” divorce is permissible. If God has not given u the desire to be married again, then u r perhaps to remain celebate for the rest of your life as Paul did. That’s your personal choice. But the preaching of Christ to the Pharisees who were ready to stone the prostitute ….. is what prompted Him to redefine “adultery”. So then what is sin????
What about Abraham who had two wives, Moses who had two, n Jacob who had four, n David who took Bathsheba after murdering her husband when he realized she was pregnant whom God also referred to as a man after His own heart n Solomon who had a slew of em.
Well…. The simple commandment of God is love. Love your God n love your neighbor as yourself. Love covers over a multitude of sin. You have married this man for what ever it was worth. May be u loved him may be not. Now he’s the father of your children. If you have the love of Christ in you, which I know you do, n if he still loves u n wants to stay in the marriage n he’s not abusive or adulterous, why don’t u love him n make the marriage work. This way u will give your children a stable home. U also could be hailed as the proverbs 31 woman who loves her husband unconditionally. Don’t let satan stop you from showing love to your husband. leaving your husband in the lurch is not love. Taking the children from their stable 2 parent home is not love. Your husband n your children need you. A foolish woman (proverbs) tears down her own home with her own hands. Love has no law. Love the Man U married in God’s presence n love the children God gave you. It’s not going to be easy. Try to work it out. Again the bible says ” love covers over a multitude of sin”
Love love love. Love n forgive. Law was introduced to bring u to the end of yourself. Try to work out your marriage. You will definitely be pleasing God this way. You can be the one that will be Christ like in your marriage. Show your husband your unconditional love.
Husbands love your wives…. Wives submit yourselves to your husbands n honor them. Remember “love” is above all. As long as u r legally married to this man… He’s your legal wedded husband. U need to love n honor him n fulfill the marital duties as a Godly wife. Jesus said all the prophets and law are fulfilled in the two commandments he gave. Love your husband as u love yourself cos he is your first neighbor.
Completely Confused
Oct 20, 2014 @ 19:51:21
Dear friend, I think you are determined to think what you wish. All I can do is read the Word of God and follow it. You have to choose for yourself if you will follow the Word of God or the desire of your own heart/flesh; you are the one who must (with fear and trembling) decide which one of those it is that you are following. The question is easy and the answer should be: Will you live God’s way no matter what that way is; even if it isn’t the way you want to go?
If you read my very first posting, “my story” if you will, you will see my struggle. Something I just realized is that the timing of the renewed condemnation over the marriage came recently, in the last few months, and AFTER repeated heartfelt prayer to God that I would not be blinded by lies, mislead by false doctrine or fooled into following anything but the truth. I prayed for God to lead me in HIS truth, Way and Will. Then came the renewed condemnation.
I did not realize the correlation between those prayers and the condemnation of the marriage until this very day, when I made the final and firm decision that, come what may, my choice is God’s command and HIS Way and not my desire or will.
After doing this and repenting, I came to the revelation that I had ASKED God to show me ALL truth and keep me in His will.
That’s all I can tell you, well, that and read from the site I posted earlier. Perhaps after asking God to give you a heart to serve HIM and die to self. http://www.biblicalresearchreports.com/divorceandremarriage.php
May God bless you with clear vision and His will for your life being your will as well.
popsdumonde
Apr 14, 2016 @ 01:27:39
My name is Stan, I write as “Pops DuMonde”.
This is to “Confused “.
You are obviously very bright and hopefully sober now, (I read your testimony of drinking and using drugs).
I get the sense that you are torturing yourself with scripture. At some point we need to accept, if we have been born again, that we are new creations, washed clean, forgiven and heaven bound. By grace we have been saved, not works. When we try to live by the law or works,it gives us no peace.
My interpretation of Scripture is this, in my situation I was guilty of most of the things that keep one from the Kingdom of Heaven. BUT, I have been forgiven all those things and it is just as if I never committed adultery, fornication, theft, drunkenness, etc. I don’t believe that remarrying after divorce leaves us in a state of continual adultery. Yes we committed adultery, but now we are in a legitimate marriage if it is unto the Lord.
For me now, as one being twice divorced, now single, along with all my history leaves me kneeling before the cross and repenting of all my sins AND accepting the forgiveness that has been provided to all who accept it. God knew all I was going to do, all my sins and forgave them all, washed them all away. Now I ask God for direction and submit my will to His. I do not know what He has in store for me, but it is blessings, not curses.
Peace my Sister,
Stan
Completely Confused
Oct 20, 2014 @ 17:36:48
Sorry, I said “I thought, upon stumbling on your site, that you were seeking GOD’s will and God’s truth in this, just as I am. I am seriously questioning that idea at this point. You seem to have already decided what you believe on this topic” but then I realized that you are not the blogger popsdumonde but “Faith Thomas” so please disregard that part of my reply.
Completely Confused
Oct 21, 2014 @ 01:28:19
Just to clear some things up, you state “There is no such thing as a small sin or big sin. …The bigger sin I would say is to willfully stay in a marriage relationship not ordained by God. Get out quickly and wait patiently for the true match and choice of God.” So basically, you’re condemning me, saying I am the bigger sinner even though all sin is the same?
You also state: “Don’t stay in a marriage n be bound to tradition when u clearly know this was not God’s choice or plan for u to begin with.” God’s choice and plan is and was always for His children to be obedient to His Word.
“He has some one specific for u if u truly desire to be married.” This is completely unbiblical especially under the circumstances.
And again: “the Bible says that the blessing of The Lord maketh rich and He adds no sorrow to it.” We are repeatedly told we will be hated, despised, persecuted and suffer trials and tribulation. Following Christ leads to persecution before it leads to the richness of His glory in Heavenly places.
Please, tell me what you think this means: “They that follow the law must keep the entire law for when u break one part of it u break them all.” So are you telling me that you kill people? That you worship idols? That you steal and lie and cheat? I guess you need to follow the whole law?
Following the law as means to gaining righteousness and heaven is impossible without perfectly keeping every bit of the law, truth. Following the commandments of God by the leading of His Holy Spirit because we should AND because we now want to please God is not the same. Knowing we are redeemed through the blood of Jesus Christ and His perfect keeping of the law and that HE covers us (atones) with His blood and He personally empowers us for obedience when we walk by the Spirit through Christ who dwells IN us is a totally different thing. I am not trying to do the right thing to “earn my salvation”, Jesus Christ already purchased me with His blood.
“ Isaiah says speaking of God’s blessings… None shall want or lack her mate (Isaiah 34:16).” Okay, that is about animals #1 and #2 there is NO WAY that can be about people because there are clearly tons of people who live and die without “mates” #3 This is about a curse! Please read the entire chapter.
“ issues of marriage n remarriage n divorce r extremely personal n related to individual situations.” Where is the biblical reference that the law/commandments and will of God changes from person to person? The Bible clearly states that with God there is NO partiality and that God is the same today tomorrow and yesterday.
Things being “far from the perfect will of God.” defines the state of the entire world and the whole human race. Death, disease, hate, war, etc are ALL “far from the will of God; can you keep yourself alive forever and not die, though God said we all will, just because death is far from His original plan?
“If God has not given u the desire to be married again, then u r perhaps to remain celebate for the rest of your life as Paul did.” GOD will not give me the desire to commit what HE states is sin. Satan might, but not God. As to it being “a personal choice.” I can assure you that being celibate from the man I am with, an truly love, is NOT “a personal choice” beyond that I choose to obey GOD and not my own desire.
“But the preaching of Christ to the Pharisees who were ready to stone the prostitute ….. is what prompted Him to redefine “adultery”. So then what is sin????” When and where did Jesus “redefine adultery”? No, He said whoever has never sinned cast the first stone. He then told her to “go and SIN NO MORE” There was no new definition of adultery, she was an adulteress, she was then forgiven and she was told to sin no more.
Then you bring up Old Testament things that Jesus Himself addressed and you have denied that He meant what He said or that it applies to us.
“What about Abraham who had two wives, Moses who had two, n Jacob who had four, n David who took Bathsheba after murdering her husband when he realized she was pregnant whom God also referred to as a man after His own heart n Solomon who had a slew of em.”
I will say that David repented and humbled himself before God, which is a big part of what made him a man after His own heart. Jesus clearly defines marriage for the NT (what it was always meant to be in reality) yet you have brought up those under Mosaic Law and “on their own to be righteous” not under grace and the new covenant. As you already pointed out, Jesus brought a much stricter adherence to the law beyond the letter to the spirit, or the state of our mind and heart as well as the actions of our hands. This also made it all the more clear that without Christ, we fail and are damned.
“Well…. The simple commandment of God is love. Love your God n love your neighbor as yourself. Love covers over a multitude of sins.” Please note that to love GOD is first. That means that we love God most, keep His commandments for living and go from there. We are not to “love humanity to the point of committing sin in the name of “love”. The Pharisee disregarded God’s law for their human desires and called it “traditions”. Jesus rebuked them for it.
“You have married this man for what ever it was worth.” Actually, as Jesus says that to marry again is adultery, that indicates the first marriage is not undone and the following marriage/marriages are NOT valid, binding or even “marriage”.
“May be u loved him may be not. Now he’s the father of your children. If you have the love of Christ in you, which I know you do, n if he still loves u n wants to stay in the marriage n he’s not abusive or adulterous, why don’t u love him n make the marriage work.” I do love him and my children very much BUT I love God more and it is GOD who I want to please, not myself or anyone else. If God were to tell me flat out that I am married to this man and He approves the marriage and sanctifies it, of course I would not even be having this issue. Biblically that does not seem to be the case.
“This way u will give your children a stable home. U also could be hailed as the proverbs 31 woman who loves her husband unconditionally. Don’t let satan stop you from showing love to your husband. leaving your husband in the lurch is not love. Taking the children from their stable 2 parent home is not love. Your husband n your children need you. A foolish woman (proverbs) tears down her own home with her own hands. Love has no law. Love the Man U married in God’s presence n love the children God gave you”
There is so much judgment in here that I don’t even know where to start; so I won’t. Let me just say that when I find a Biblical command or even “ok” to do this I would be more than happy to.
“Law was introduced to bring u to the end of yourself.” YES, to the end that we know we cannot obey God’s perfect law completely by own strength, will or whatever; an end of ourselves, not an end of God’s commands for how we are to live.
“You will definitely be pleasing God this way.” Where exactly did you ever see that living contrary to God’s commands pleases Him?
“You can be the one that will be Christ like in your marriage.” I’m going to try to be; by dying to what I want and living for God’s will and God willing, through Jesus Christ who dwells within me, I will overcome.
“ Show your husband your unconditional love.” Showing my husband that God is my priority is showing more unconditional love than a lifetime of sex ever could.
“Husbands love your wives…. Wives submit yourselves to your husbands n honor them.” This is NOT about divorced and remarried people. This is about one man and one woman in their first and only covenant of marriage. This is more for those like you than those like me at this point.
“As long as u r legally married to this man… He’s your legal wedded husband.” Human legality and God’s righteous law are not the same. Not to mention, you are being a bit hypocritical here as you are “legally” married too and still have the option of doing all the little things you are admonishing me to do.
“ Jesus said all the prophets and law are fulfilled in the two commandments he gave. Love your husband as u love yourself cos he is your first neighbor.” I know it isn’t what you meant but it is love the LORD your God with all your heart all your soul and all your strength and love your neighbor as yourself. And if I were living in sin (with I feel I quite likely am), I would want someone to lead me out of it. So, I am loving my neighbor as myself by stopping the sin and freeing us to serve God, God’s way.
As for you, get divorced if your husband is an adulterer and when and if a man comes along that is either never married or widowed and he is a Christian I guess you may biblically remarry (?). That said, you will still be a divorced woman and as per the Words of Christ your next husband would quite possibly be committing adultery for marrying a divorced woman. It’s something to consider before you do it and risk ending up like me.
Faith Thomas
Oct 21, 2014 @ 02:02:56
I know what God has promised to me. I am so glad that the grace of a God surpasses all human error n foolishness. While I was still married to the one I was married to God specifically spoke with confirmation that he was going to be removed from my life n his place would be given to another. That is why I said … God will speak to individuals about this situation specifically n individually.
Anyway, I’m not under condemnation. I’m looking forward to ending this so called marriage n looking forward to meeting who ever God has for me. I’m not in the wrong. I’m not sinning. I’m simply in God’s will. I never asked God to take my husband away. He did it anyway. He’s now giving me a new life n a future filled with peace n hope. N I’m not ashamed nor under condemnation. Only praise n thanks to my Lord n savior Jesus Christ who is in charge n control of my life n future. I wish u well. Be blessed my sister.
authorshellyarkon
Oct 21, 2014 @ 02:47:38
If the voice you’re hearing doesn’t line up with His word, it’s not God talking to you. The Bible is very clear. Read Matthew 19:9 and Malechi 2:16.
The Scripture also says we need to test the spirits and you do that with His word.
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Completely Confused
Oct 21, 2014 @ 17:25:49
Yes, how exactly did God tell you all this? You must do what God tells you, but how did God tell you? I promise I am not trying to condemn you and I apologize for the sarcasm that I ended with yesterday, that was uncalled for; I think my feelings were a little hurt by your comments seeming to question if my love for my children and their father was genuine. The Truth is to be given in Love, not contempt. I am very sorry. To be clear, I am repentant of how I said it, not what I said.
It is dangerous to trust our feelings or the teachings of others when and IF the Bible does not confirm the same. I have “feelings” all the time. I “feel” like listening to those “people” who say I can live godly within this marriage. I “feel” like having sex; I “feel” the desire and, at this moment, I do NOT “feel” like living a life where I know I can never feel the comforting, intimate touch of the man I love. I feel a lot of things. BUT, whether I like it or not, the Holy Bible does NOT seem to support my “feelings” within the reality of my situation. Should we feel condemned over PAST sin, no, but to harden our hearts against conviction by the Holy Spirit for ongoing sin is NOT biblical or godly.
You, without knowledge of what God, through His Word and Spirit, convicts me of, (though I told you) were encouraging me to ignore conviction of biblically condemned behavior and reject correction. You also began giving me advice to follow, not the Word of God but, my own “feelings” and call it God with absolutely no biblically sound reasoning for this advice. Your thought process seems to be for me to ignore what may be conviction by the Holy Spirit and call it evil condemnation from the devil; why? because it isn’t conforming to my “desire” so I should go ahead and do what I “feel” because “my desire” must in reality be God’s implanted will for me? Again, this is not a biblically sound doctrine when these ideas are taken into their proper context. God can give us a desire but when He does it will NOT contradict His Word. A house divided against itself cannot stand.
I actually believe I did just that (followed my own desire) over the last many years and, YES, that is why I had “no condemnation” all that time. Because I did not WANT to know or believe that I must still end the “marital relations” of the man I loved; so I trusted present “Christian society” and God seems to have allowed my heart to be hardened in this area because I hardened my heart to the His Word and listened to people (and my own lusts) instead.
Please note that AS SOON as I earnestly prayed for God NOT to let me be a fool, or blind, or mislead by false doctrine (never for one second considering my marriage might come up) the feeling of conviction came BACK and I was repeatedly convicted by the divorce/remarriage verses of Scripture. Ironically, I didn’t at first see that I was “seeing truth” and at the same time as praying for truth, prayed for security in my suddenly confusing “marriage”. Well, I kept getting conviction and lost all comfort in the marriage. Then I came to a crisis; would I choose MY will again or would I choose to follow what God was very clearly showing me? 13 years ago, I chose “me” and God allowed me to harden my heart; this time, I choose God.
This is NOT my first marriage, as much as I wish it had been; I am not the “wife” of his youth nor is he the “husband” I was joined to by the first marriage vows I took saying “till death do us part”. It makes me ill to know it and I am praying to be joy filled in this and not depressed and full of self-pity. This is not really a “fun” realization but better this than not being in God’s will. PRAISE GOD He did not leave me blind! I would have deserved it after He warned me and I just rejected Him over and over; even all the while calling myself a “saved and born again Christian”! But in His mercy and grace He had pity on me and opened my eyes AGAIN to the truth of HIS Word! Glory to God! I DO have joy in this trial because I know GOD LOVES ME! He didn’t leave me hardened but as soon as I humbled myself to seek HIS truth, He opened my eyes to my error. Thank God that He does not write us off with an “I already told you once” attitude but is merciful in our unrighteousness and guides us as our Faithful Shepherd.
I tell you, I have made a desperate search to find anything to support what society tells me (us) is fine; I have come up empty when testing their “biblical support” simply by reading the so-called supporting verses in context and reading the verses that clearly, directly and blatantly oppose those ideas. Do you think I wanted to hear this? Do you thing I wanted to find that I am wrong and that for 13 years I thought I was seeking God but in reality I have live opposed to God? More than that, I have brought children into this relationship that is not God-supported! We are warned that our hearts are desperately wicked and deceitful.
The Bible says that God does not change; our world and the human idea of what is acceptable or not might change but, according to Scripture, God does not. I prayed earnestly for God to make me see the truth, even if that meant I wouldn’t like it. I prayed repeatedly and desperately for God to teach me HIS truth and not to let me be deceived. I don’t really “like” what I got and I have to die to self just like we are told we must; I have to give up my desire (MY desire, not “desire God gave me” but my own desire.) and accept that to please God I must not seek to justify my choices, wants and desires but DIE to my will and live for God’s. So must we all who want to follow Jesus the way we are taught in the Bible.
What sense is there to believe in Jesus Christ from the Word of the Bible and yet not believe in the Bible? Do we say “I accept Your brutal death to buy my salvation but I will not actually follow You by obeying Your Words as You commanded. You can die for me but I will not live for You.”? IF we insist on doing this, God WILL let us harden our hearts. Please read Romans 1 for yourself: “that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them” and “…they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God” So clearly, this is not about those who do not know or believe in God. Romans 1 also covers many sin types, you can read: “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against ALL ungodliness and unrighteousness of men” and “Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, … Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature MORE THAN the Creator…” also “And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, … Being filled with ALL unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness,… covenantbreakers, … Who KNOWING the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.” Tread PRAYERfully: we need to be very sure that we are not following personal desire, to do what feels good to us and to do what our “heart” wants to do, in spite of knowing that God hates such things. Let us not do them anyway, seeking to justify our own desires by turning to Truth of God’s word into lies so that we may serve our desires (flesh) instead of God. One more thing to read, I know it’s OT but read Jeremiah 23. I randomly flipped to it last night.
Faith Thomas
Oct 21, 2014 @ 19:06:21
I understand what u r saying. I know what God has told me n confirmed through many people. When u r in a marriage covenant n then be unfaithful to your spouse then u have broken that sacred covenant. If by choice if both parties r willing to reconcile well n good. If not Jesus himself said “except for fornication”… Of course u know the verse. As far as I’m convinced my ex husband broke that covenant by marrying another according to Hindu traditions while he was still married to me. Jesus is my best friend. I cannot speak for others. I stayed in that marriage for 22 years inspite of God telling me to get out through many prophets. Several prophets warmed me to get out. Another thing ….before getting into this marriage my parents were warned n another prophet of God warned me not to marry him. This was a typical traditional Indian arranged marriage. There was no such thing as backing off once the announcement was made. So my parents n I ignored all warning.
God brought my family to the US just so I can be delivered from that marriage bondage. I was only 21 n a virgin when I was given in marriage. But it was torture from day one. Finally a year n a half ago I was delivered. His adultery was caught red handed n he ended up in jail for assault n battery. Jesus was my only friend in that horrible marriage. I have 2 sons who r enjoying so much peace now. Various people n God told me He was going to deliver me from the marriage. But becos of tradition I was afraid to leave the marriage. Finally God threw him in jail (God ‘s doing. … Becos he started abusing his new wife/ mistress while still living with me , she complained to the authorities. ). …he claimed to be a Hindu for her n a Christian for me. I don’t know what he was.
BUT I KNOW WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT God spoke to me in the shower n told me he was removing my husband from my life …3 times God spoke. I’m a Holy Spirit filled tongue talking believer. This was the third confirmation that morning. The next day I found out he was in jail. I know I hear God.
Then God told me that he’s bringing to me a man after His own heart n that his name is going to be David. I know this as I know the back of my hand.
I cannot tell u anything further. All I know is Jesus loves me. He has told me many things about my future husband. He told me this was His choice for me. Not mine or my parents. He told me watch n see what I’m going to do. He said in going to have double blessing for my trouble. It’s not just a belief. But I know this. He’s my best friend. He is leading me. I have only been married once. But it was not God ‘s will or choice. Now God has delivered me from such a dangerous marriage I know His words r true. U have the Holy Spirit in u. He will guide u. Do what he tells u to do. U certainly don’t need my advice. I’m following what the Holy Spirit tells me to do. I’m trusting in Him. I love u sister. Be blessed.
Completely Confused
Oct 22, 2014 @ 04:20:40
Faith, if you truly feel God is telling you that YOU will have a new husband because your first one was an adulterer and you want only to love, serve and obey God, no matter what, you follow God and see where He takes you. I was never making a judgment call on your situation (aside from my moment of sarcasm that, again, I apologize for.). Make it your daily prayer that God keep you from following anything but His will and His Truth; and mean it. I think we all need to start asking God for that with so many teaching falsehoods these days. I know I do!
But, to tell others that any remarriage after divorce is ok when Jesus didn’t say that…unless you can prove it biblically, is false teaching. Jesus states clearly that the ONLY acceptable divorce is for adultery. Jesus taught that we (remarried people) are adulterers and, as adulterers must be married, our man-given “divorces” are not worth the paper they are printed on. If this is a correct assessment of the Word which I believe more and more to be the case, then in the eyes of God the first marriage still stands.
Those who tell people like me that we are “under grace” and free to remarry “by Jesus’ blood” are making statements God’s word does not seem to support.
This unbiblical doctrine of godly “remarriage” hurts Christians who are in struggling marriages, those who are divorcing or are already divorced, it encourage others to remain in adulterous relationships unrepentant and it also hurts those non-Christians, especially those committing sexual sin when Christians try to lead them to Truth. One cannot blatantly live contrary to the will of God and then tell another that they must repent and stop living contrary to the will of God.
One way I believe God helped me to see the truth lately was by prompting me to explain IF and WHY the “splinter” of homosexual acts must be removed from a Christian homosexual IF the “log” of adulterous acts in a heterosexual Christian’s “marriage” is somehow covered by the blood. It took me two days and I finally realized emphatically that it doesn’t work. We are hypocrites and we need to start telling the truth, God’s Truth, even when it hurts. Both homosexual behavior AND adulterous behavior are sexual sins and condemned repeatedly in the New (and old) Testament.
Praise the LORD! God is Good and His mercy endures FORVEVER! He will not leave us blind who call on Him to enlighten us with His truth.
May God bless and keep you, dear lady. Time is short, keep your eyes straight ahead on our Lord Jesus; He is coming soon!
Paul
Oct 21, 2014 @ 15:08:59
I read through this whole treatise and I have no comment for it would just be my opinion. But I must reply to this writer here, Mr. ‘Faith Thomas,’who said: “… They that follow the law must keep the entire law for when u break one part of it u break them all. Be careful then not to trample under foot the gospel of grace n reject His forgiveness n live in condemnation which could potentially take one to hell.” I read my verse for the day (something I have been neglecting for a long time) and I am grateful it says: ”As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.” Galatians 6:10 (KJV). So, friend, I say unto you that I was reminded of this verse: “….of how much sorer punishment, think ye, shall he be judged worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace.” Hebrews 10:29 (KJV). How strange it is, Sir (for I cannot call you ‘friend,’ that you have so TWISTED what the Word of God says about obedience to His Spirit. I am an awful sinner who struggles daily with adulterous thoughts, and has watched more pornography in his life, I believe, than any man on Earth (by the grace of God, very much less in the past two years and especially once I took hold of God’s provision, in His creation and my wife, Vivien two years ago, after a twelve-year relationship). I am part of a local grace church called New Creation Church here in Singapore; and the ‘teaching’ of grace is new to me (I became a believer in Jesus about 25 years ago but my understanding of grace and true faith and what Jesus did was limited, partly due to hearing a lot of preaching on the commandments — directly or indirectly). HOWEVER, the Holy Spirit, if He is in you (and you can know this; and He is not dumb — He is that ‘still small voice’)’, that is, the Spirit of Christ (if He indeed dwells in you, for not everyone who says he is a Christian is actually one, that Spirit, leads us to obey Christ because (as He showed me): ‘….the end of the Law is LOVE…out of a PURE HEART…and NOTFAKE faith…’ which means, the Law is our schoolteacher that God used to lead us to Christ; but we don’t just trash His commandments once we become the servant of Christ! Don’t you think when Jesus Christ is the King of ALL (and I mean Earth and the Heavens) in actual fact in visible sight of all creation that He will allow any soul to steal, tell lies, or mock God? My point is NOT that we believers are to keep the law in order to please God or to be saved (since no man except Jesus can keep the law of God anyway) but that we MUST seek to live by the “Spirit of life in Christ Jesus” being dead to obeying the laws of God in order to please Him; and, being ALIVE (married also, in spirit!) to Christ, we GROW up — bit by bit — into the ‘fullness of God’ (just men and women made perfect – my words) since we are already NEW CREATIONS. I think this means we must stay away from sin as believers, because by sinning (especially openly) we mock God and ‘inspire’ others to eschew Christ. It does NOT mean we will be lost; but I really do not understand someone who says it is a much greater sin to ‘trample on grace’ and ‘live in condemnation’ (Joseph Prince really is a good teacher and I have learned a lot from him about GRACE but this does not mean I trust and believe everything he says; I seek to follow His leading); it almost seems that SATAN is using this ‘new strategy’ by teaching people to FORGET GOD and HIS COMMANDMENTS that, by doing so, MEN ARE TAUGHT NOT EVEN TO GO TO THE SCHOOLMASTER AND THUS MISS CHRIST ALTOGETHER. hmmm please repent Mr Thomas. I believe your doctrine is false. There is no other gospel than the gospel Jesus preached and He preached on THIS GOSPEL OF THE KINGDOM. It seems MANY are being led astray by myths and fables today (even ‘Christian’ ones). Here is an interesting fact I read recently: there are approximately 7.2,000,000,000 souls alive on Earth today. But, did you know that approximately 100,000,000,000 souls have already passed on??? Of that number, if even 1% is in HELL, it is an enormous number — and HELL is a BIG place. Mr. Thomas, please focus on Christ but don’t forget that He is looking for your obedience to God, which shows your LOVE for Him. You wickedly teach that adultery is not sin when JESUS HIMSELF makes it crystal clear that it is. I myself am suffering greatly because I may never have children, because I sought the will of God to find the wife whom God chose. But even if I do not, it is better to suffer seeking to do the will of God, than to choose evil and be punished for it. (not my words but those of St. Paul). God bless!
Faith Thomas
Oct 21, 2014 @ 19:10:06
I’m a woman. Read my story.
Paul
Nov 15, 2014 @ 13:57:33
Hi Faith, sorry about the misunderstanding — obviously you’re a woman and from an East Indian background. I am a novice spiritually, though I have been a born-again Christian (is there any other kind) for about 25 years. I am not pure in heart, nor righteous — in spite of what Jesus did on the Cross and in spite of what is taught by Pastor Prince of New Creation Church, where I go for the messages with my wife (here in Singapore). What do I mean ín spite of?’ well it is fairly simple: today I sometimes struggle with porn. It is much less frequent than in the past but still, it is not entirely gone. I trust the LORD that He will forever rid me of this addiction; but it is not easy for the flesh to give up such addictions (hence the power of addictive relationships contrary to the will of God). I have been blessed a lot by what ”Completely Confused’ has written and must agree with her that someone divorced and remarried five times is a person who is going to confuse Christians; especially younger believers! In my home church in Canada, I also know a woman married five times.
To be honest, I spent more than twelve years dating my first and only wife of the past two years (Vivien is a Christian Singaporean Chinese); partly due to my own and her immaturity; partly due to the fact we lived on separate continents; partly because it is not easy to hear the ‘still, small voice of God’ (due to ‘static’ within and without and many other factors); and, partly because making a lifelong commitment is not a simple, easy, flippant decision. My leading from God in this matter was that I needed to listen explicitly to not only His commands on the subject; in particular, what our Lord Jesus taught about divorce and remarriage (and by the way, I don’t understand how Christians can take Matthew 19 and its instructions about ‘except for the cause of fornication’ as an ”OK” ‘to remarry when, in all four Gospels, Christ tells us that it is not the will of God for a divorced person to ever remarry, unless their first spouse dies (and naturally so). How are we supposed to resolve that apparent contradiction? But in any case, that is ONE VERSE in the entire New Testament; we all know that significant truths and our important life decisions made when seeking the will of God, can NOT depend on only one verse! In fact, it is possible that this verse was NOT in the original Greek translation and added later, to allow men to remarry at will simply by committing adultery, or ‘making’ their spouse do so.
Anyway, I apologise if I offended you. I do not regret being converted by God from the error of my ways (I don’t really believe in ‘making a decision for Christ’ that it turns you automatically into a true Christian. Jesus taught that ”….ye MUST be born again.” If the Holy Spirit has not made it clear to you that in fact, HE has converted you and HE now dwells in you for “…His Spirit witnesses with our spirit….that we are (His Children)” then we are not Christians but only think we are. God always confirms His handiwork ”…with signs following” and the sign of conversion is the fruit of the Spirit, which men (and Satan and his many agents including the ”religious” and “spiritual” ones) are now very, very good at imitating. But the TRUE fruit of the Spirit CAN NOT BE IMITATED. In my understanding, what God starts HE finishes and He does so in His time and at His pace; and in such a way that HE can call it ”perfect” even if we ourselves and others think there is some kind of flaw.
So, to close, I don’t think you should remarry (I say this in my opinion I think you must ask the LORD Himself to speak to you very clearly about what He wants you to do: as our friend here wrote, an eternal truth is that what ever God really leads you to do, HE will NOT contradict His own WORD on whatever that is) anyone. If you do, I think you, too will also be haunted by the words of Christ, about divorce and remarriage.
So many Christians today, including myself, are willing to try and ignore the will of God and the Word of God, to get what we want. But, in making such bad choices, we don’t actually understand what eternal consequences are going to result; it is written that NO adulterer will be allowed into Heaven. IF we Christians obeyed the Spirit in that walk, and refused to divorce for ANY reason (my own wife, sadly, is likely unwilling to have children, which is a grief to me which I must bear as a Cross); but in obedience to God, we reap an eternal reward.
I do NOT accept the teaching of NCC and ‘grace preachers’ that all we need to do is REST in the finished work of Christ (see my ”in spite of” above) because GOD HIMSELF is NOT yet finished working in us to show HIS GLORY to the whole world. If we DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and that, including refusing to OBEY the Spirit of God when He leads us to make difficult choices that will edify other believers, encourage others (not only Christians) to remain in their marriages despite difficulties (and continue to ask God for the love to show our spouses in spite of the many difficulties every marriage has), then the divorce rates would plummet and God would be glorified in His House. While I am committed to the teaching that I must remain in Christ, that itself is an act of obedience; therefore, it follows that if I wish to WALK IN THE SPIRIT, it can not mean that I am somehow ”allowed” now to transgress His commandments. Far from it! in fact, I think it means I would keep His commandments even more diligently (just not in the way the Pharisees did, WHO DID THEIR WORKS FOR THE PRAISES OF MEN NOT GOD).
I am not saved by obeying the Commandments but by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and my continued ”obedience to the faith” ….”first given to the saints” BUT if Christ actually dwells in me by faith, is it not true that He would move me to always avoid sinning against God deliberately? At least, this is how I see it; and also, as a Christian (unlike before I was born again), I am sensitised the working of the Holy Spirit, including when I grieve Him. This means I believe that I can by faith be perfected to always please the Father, like my Lord did…(though I do not equate myself with Christ who is GOD). Unfortunately, NCC seems to be teaching people that we can, like Mr. Kenneth Hagin apparently believed and Benny Hinn apparently taught, actually BECOME CHRIST. That is just New Age teaching in a different cloth (it’s called WOLVESCLOTH).
OK I best be going.
I am not the Oracle of God here; so please don’t listen to me too much! Please go and ask GOD what you should do. BUT I think….it is MUCH easier to do so, if you have an interest in a SPECIFIC man. When or if that time arrives, and you ask GOD to clearly speak to you about THAT MAN in particular, if you are VERY persistent, GOD will indeed share His true desires for your life and His purposes for you in regard to marrying that man. Even in circumstances (for example, if you decide to pray about it, and go on a date to try and find the will of God), He will make it clear what you should really do. Finally, if you simply can not find true peace in your heart that indeed you are making the decision that is truly the best for the will of God (not for your own desires), then it is clearly a NO.
God bless!
Paul
Faith Thomas
Nov 15, 2014 @ 18:06:44
Thank u for taking the time to reply. I am waiting on The Lord. I want to be married again definitely. I will not go through the rest of my life/ journey alone. I desire a companion n partner n spouse. I want to be loved n held. I know God has some one specific for me. He has told me already that he will be a man after God’s own heart. I will wait for him. This is all I know for now. A man who looks at a woman or an image of a woman to list after it has already committed adultery in his heart with her. Jesus saiid… If your hand offend u… Cut it off… If your eye offend u pluck it out. It’s better to enter into heaven maimed than be thrown into hell with all your faculties functioning well. I wonder why Christians don’t cut off their hands n pluck out their eyes even when the eye n hand causes them to fall into sin continuously? May be something to consider. Lol. Love u brother. Be blessed. : )
Completely...
Nov 24, 2014 @ 03:14:03
We should ALL use caution when it comes to our feelings. A Christian must be able to say: “Lord, YOUR will be done, even if I get nothing I think I want or desire. Almighty God, with Your help I will serve YOU even if it kills me, even if it costs me my friends, my family, my home, my job; even if it cost me everything I think I have or want.” Not only must we be able to say this, we must mean it with our whole heart. This is following and serving is it not?
The first thing we should definitely want and desire is to do the will of GOD even if we have to die to (give up) our wants, desires and will. God and His Kingdom must be first; Jesus is not only our Savior, He is also our LORD, our Sovereign, and our King. This does not just mean that we have to give up the things that we think of as “sin”; this means we must be willing to give up all things that may hinder our spiritual growth and our ability to be useful vessels for God’s will and His work. There are times we do not see that something is hindering us but we know when we are facing opposition and we must pray for clarification from God to know if the opposition is from HIM .
None of this is something we can do by our own strength; we must PRAY and ask God, with our whole heart, to keep us from being led astray, falling away or believing false doctrine. We NEED God’s grace, we NEED Jesus’ peace and we NEED the Holy Spirit to guide us in ALL things!
We must remember that we were called to be holy (set apart). We must not allow corruptions of God’s Truth into our lives; we must PRAY and ask God not to allow us to allow it! None of us want to believe it but we are ALL more than capable of thinking we love God when in fact we are rejecting His commands for our life. I know I did!
If we want to believe a thing and we tell ourselves God must want it for us or we wouldn’t feel it so strongly, we will believe it whether it is true or not.
If, to avoid perceived negative results of obedience, we look for justification to disobey, we will find reasons we definitely believe justify us. Beware! God may indeed give us over to our own desires; BUT this is NOT necessarily the same as God being “okay” with our choices.
That was my own failing. “I” wanted a thing I should not have had and I was blinded to the truth by MY OWN desire. I found myself living in repetitive, intentional sin that I had convinced myself was not a sin. Believing a thing does not make it so! TEST ALL THINGS! Make sure spirit, mind, heart and SCRIPTURE agree.
At the time of my “blinding”, I really was SURE that it WAS God’s will for me and that God was not only okay with my life but had actually “ordained” or planned it to be the way it was. I allowed my “heart” to fool me and I allowed my “wise” and logical reasoning to lead me astray. It was not until I asked God to lead me in HIS way no matter what it cost that He opened my eyes to His WORD and convicted my soul of my error. BUT, notice I had to humble myself and ask God to show me HIS truth (and mean it!) even if it was hard for me to accept. I had NO idea He was going to open my eyes to what He did and I have to say I am still picking myself up from the blow I took. BUT, praise be to God that He DID answer me or else I would have had no chance of repenting and I would have has to answer for that willful sin in the end.
Due to “logically” reasoning through my “special circumstances”, (because I did not feel the Bible addressed them specifically) I allowed myself to be convinced that I was an exception to God’s command. We have that a lot of that these days; the Word says “DO NOT” and we ask “well, what about in this situation?” We tell ourselves that the Word did not address our situation specifically and so we must try to “figure out what is best” on our own. God is NOT a God of confusion; His will is clear in His Word. IF the Word clearly said “DO NOT”, discussing a particular situation is unnecessary. It IS enough, for the true seeker of God’s will, to hear “DO NOT”. Do not means “do not” so when there are no exceptions mentioned it is because THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS!
Praise God, He is still able to fix my mess and restore my backsliding; THANK GOD He did not leave me where I convinced myself it was “ok” to go! He could have left me to answer when it was too late to repent! Thank God for His forgiveness and mercy! Thank God for His lovingkindness and that He did not abandon me to my own “heart”!
The Bible was clear years ago and it is clear today, yet, at the time, I did NOT WANT to believe the Bible meant “me” or “my special situation” or that it was “literal” or that it applied to “today’s society” or that there were no exceptions to the rule through “grace”.
I convinced myself to believe what many in the “church” say is true and “logical”; even though that teaching contradicts God’s Word. I refused in my heart to see it; I was willfully blinded by my own desire. I, unconsciously, chose to believe a manipulated version of the Word that was easier to follow then following God’s command that forbid me what I wanted. I convinced myself that the “church said it’s okay so God’s command must not mean exactly what it clearly says”, I LIED to myself pretending that I should listen to those who “knew better than me” when all of us have 24/7 access to the Holy Spirit of God to teach us ALL THINGS! The Bible tells us that God does not change; even if the world/society does. It also says “not everyone who says to me ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the Kingdom” and “Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and [FEW] there be that find it..” Matthew 7:23 and Matthew 15:14 are both verses well worth remembering when we look to self-professed church leaders to tell us right from wrong.
So yes, He let me go; but Thank You, God! Thank You Father that you led my heart to pray for Your will, Your way and Your Truth. Our God is merciful and forgiving to those who will obey His Spirit and humble ourselves before Him
The Bible says: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked…” Jeremiah 17:9 Brothers and sisters we MUST heed this clear warning! Our heart will do its best to convince us that our deep and desperate desires are somehow condoned and/or overlooked by God!
Perhaps Paul was dealing with a certain issue in Romans 1, I’m not sure, but that in no way means the admonition was ONLY confined to one kind of sin or sinner. I believe the beginning and ending verses should make that clear if our eyes are open. Romans 1 “…18 For the wrath of God is revealed from Heaven against ALL ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold THE TRUTH in UNRIGHTEOUSNESS …21 For when THEY KNEW GOD, they neither glorified Him as God, nor were thankful, but BECAME VAIN IN THEIR IMAGINATIONS, and their FOOLISH HEART WAS DARKENED. 22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, …24 Therefore GOD ALSO GAVE THEM UP to uncleanness through the LUSTS OF THEIR OWN HEARTS, …25 THEY CHANGED THE TRUTH OF GOD INTO A LIE, …26 For this cause God GAVE THEM UP unto vile AFFECTIONS: ….28 And even as THEY DID NOT LIKE to retain God in their knowledge, God GAVE THEM OVER to a reprobate mind TO DO THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE NOT FITTING, 29 being filled with ALL unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, … full of envy, … proud, …31 without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affections, … 32 And KNOWING THE JUDGMENT OF GOD, that those who commit such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but have pleasure in those who do them.
We all know the things that are worthy of death. SIN. Any and ALL sin. Sin is simply rejecting God’s way and choosing to do things how WE think is right or okay. Revelations shows Jesus admonishing the CHURCH and telling US to repent: to turn away, to reject, to DO NO MORE the things we should not be doing. Note that He says things like: I will FIGHT them with the sword of my mouth, I will REMOVE your lampstand, I will COME UPON YOU at an hour you do not expect. The Lord said: “he who overcomes”; to ALL 5 churches He tells to repent, they are told that, those who OVERCOME shall receive a blessing…so who is being fought against, removed, blotted out, come upon unexpectedly? Remember that He is speaking to His church; believers. Why would He say: the one who “overcomes”, He will “not blot out”, unless that means the ones WHO DO NOT overcome will BE blotted out?
Brethren, we NEED to overcome, through Jesus Christ, by the Holy Spirit that lives in us. We need to HUMBLE ourselves, PRAY and ASK Jesus to work through us, that our will become whatever HIS will is. We are to be set free FROM sin by living for the Kingdom; not living for ourselves in the flesh which leads to all manner of sin. When we truly live FOR the Kingdom, can we sin? When we have no “personal” stake in this life or any desire for ourselves; when we live, work and desire only God’s will, for the furtherance of the gospel and for the Kingdom of our Lord, how can we sin?
I think this may be what it means when we are in Christ we cannot sin. Are we really “in Christ” when we are “in the world” and have our own agenda for this life? If we are truly in Christ and Jesus lives through us, we have given up control and rest completely in Him; we cannot sin as we are not “in the flesh” but in the Spirit. When we have personal desire, personal goals and dreams, then we are “in the flesh” and we are open to sin. Are goals, desires and dreams “sin”? I don’t think so, but having those things does leave a wider opening FOR sin to creep into our lives. Hence, we must be all the more vigilant and cautious walking in this way.
We who know what God’s Word says and then tell ourselves that it somehow does not apply to us or our situation are walking on a very WIDE road, not a narrow path.
Finally, we must resist sin, through Christ, BEFORE we allow ourselves to fall or backslide. We must PRAY, every moment if necessary, that our “besetting sin” not get the better of us even to a fleeting thought. We may not always succeed, but we have an advocate at the right hand of God. Let us not abuse His love and prayer for us; or despise His sacrifice by being less than diligent in our watch.
Do not allow TEMTATION to draw you away to LUST, do not let lust conceive SIN! When you begin to be tempted PRAY. Do not let the temptation go unchecked so that you are drawn away!
James 1: 14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. 16 Do not err, my beloved brethren. …19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. 21 Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. 22 But be ye DOERS of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. …25 But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but A DOER of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.
I write too much. Much love to you all. Peace be with you and Almighty God guide and protect you.
Faith Thomas
Nov 24, 2014 @ 13:21:41
You are missing the whole point brother. It’s the “perfect law of liberty”…you said it so. You have been set free from all bondage n sin. Now if your marriage did not work out for what ever reason n it was beyond your control God is not going to hold that against u. Becos u did not sin intentionally. When u became born again u received forgiveness of your sins past present n future. That means no more can God impute anymore sin to you. You now walk in the spirit obeying the spirit not the law. This is the true law of liberty. Now for some reason if the spirit tells u not to marry that’s between u n God but u cannot make a doctrine out of it. U n I know a true born again believer will not go around commiying adultery or divorcing at random cos that would not be their true nature which reflects the glory of Christ. So if u desire to be married why let some thing else stop u. In the last days bible says there would be those that forbid u to marry etc. all this is nothing but religion. If u truly desire to be married n ask the Lord to finally send u the one u were supposed to be married to … He will. In your case u r already married. U can use your faith in your situation n obtain children from God. Just like how God changed Sara’s heart God can change your wife’s heart. It all depends on your faith. But as for sins.,. This is the good news…all your sins have been forgiven … Past present n future. But continuing in sin will have its own consequences. This is not to be confused with the punishment of God. God cannot punish us cod he has already punished Jesus for our sins. God will discipline us bcos v r His children but will not punish us. Discipline comes from the word disciple. That means being taught of the Lord. This is the firm foundation on which we stand. We are not under law but under Grace. We receive all things through faith. Don’t complicate matters n turn Christ into a religion. Listen to Anrew Wommack on Grace n faith it will help u to renew your mind. Don’t be bound by law. Be set free by the true grace that causes u to walk in the spirit n thereby not fulfill the lust of the flesh. The Holy Spirit told me that my future husband is going to be aam after God’s own heart. Go figure!!! Lol
Love u. Be blessed.
Sam Elbonias
Dec 10, 2015 @ 04:50:12
Hi Faith, i am here again to provide my 2 c. You wrote:”….Don’t be bound by law. Be set free by the true grace that causes u to walk in the spirit n thereby not fulfill the lust of the flesh. .” I am married but have seen many personal disappointments. For example, it is unlikely i will have children, because my wife is now 45 and in 2009 she announced to me (before we married) that she did not want children. This is one example; but our sex life is even worse, since we don’t really have sex although we have been married 3 years and had no relations before that — though we knew one another since 2001. However, i believe God guided me to marry my wife because i fell in love with her and i spent twelve years seeking His will on the matter. I knew that, once married, i must honor God and honor my wife as Jesus honored His bride, the church. This meant: no divorce or remarriage under any circumstances. At present, we do attend services at Joseph Prince’s ministry, New Creation here in Singapore. Your reply above sounds like it came from Mr. Prince’s book, Destined to Reign. Or perhaps Joel Osteen. While i agree fully with you and Mr. Prince that we are called to love the Lord by grace and not by seeking to earn His favor by keeping commandments (for the law cannot save your soul), i firmly disagree with you about seeking a new life partner if you divorced. By “you” i don’t mean yourself, since you already remarried: i encourage all those considering divorce, or who are ever tempted to divorce and remarry, to refrain from doing so. Jesus made it so clear that any man or woman who is divorced and remarried commits adultery; i do not understand how we can rewrite His words. If our marriage is not up to what we expected, that is sad and it can be a huge disappointment; but what is the goal of our life? To have what we want and ‘need;’ or to love God sincerely and simply; and to always seek to honor Him in all our choices. So, my advice to any brother or sister or non-Christian reading my words, is to stay faithful to the soul that you led to believe you would love, honor, and cherish for the rest of your life. This will honor them and God and you WILL be blessed for your obedience. But now, i am going through perhaps the same temptations and sufferings that you, Ms Thomas, might have experienced. I see the younger women, and the ‘more spiritual’ younger women than my wife; and the prettier women; and i am tempted to divorce my wife so that i can have children. And, maybe some other things which she is unwilling to do. Or perhaps, a woman who has much more actual spiritual zeal. But, when i am tempted, i know that it is wrong to take any action (including text messages, emails, etc.) towards starting a new relationship. So i do not start one; and if i fail and send a message or something, i have managed to stop doing that. This is walking in the Spirit; and killing the flesh. It glorifies God and makes God look good and right and holy; which he IS. As for you, i pray that you will discern what the will of the Lord is, and that He will give you indubitable signs that your current marriage is adulterous, and should end. Now, having said that, i acknowledge that i, too, could end up in exactly your situation; so i judge that the best thing that i would want to hear is to stay friends with your ex-husband; but not live together in sin any more. If it grieves your spirit when you are intimate with him, how on earth can it not grieve God, who is the Holy Spirit? I know that by leaving, you will cause a lot of damage and harm. But the greater harm is what you will know, as you approach the Lord, after you leave this world, and you feel condemmned because you did not obey His commandments, but believed that even Christians can live in sin, because their sins are covered by the blood of Christ. Obviously, this is not the truth that Jesus died to give the world and to His sheep, in particular.
Faith
Dec 10, 2015 @ 15:55:35
Dear friend,
Jesus did say except for marital unfaithfulness…
However…. As new testament believers we are lead by the holy spirit. I feel the holy spirit tells you to marry then marry.. If the holy spirit tells you not to marry then don’t marry….. When you look at your marriage through the lens of love not having children is not a valid reason for divorce as adultery and abuse is.
However, each believer has the holy spirit hopefully within them that will help them to choose and decide matters not only in things concerning marriage but all life’s issues….. No matter what you choose to do…. at the end of the day don’t grieve the holy spirit.
The matter of marriage and remarriage is extremely personal and should be judged case by case and individually. It is definitely different strokes for different folks. Follow the leading and peace of the holy spirit and you will stay on track.
Faith.
Completely Confused
Dec 10, 2015 @ 02:44:40
Just checking in guys! Hope you are all still watching out here because I am STILL completely confused! Over a year later and I have never quite let the struggle die…or, more honestly, others helped keep me from letting it die. I lost friends & family and was even told by my pastor and church that there was no help for me there. (A nice “go away”?)
I found another site: http://www.thefaithfulword.org that speaks about all this and there are some really interesting points here. For you, too, Pops?
I am still 100% positive that Jesus said what He meant; BUT, I am still stuck on the what to do if you do what He said not to anyway.
The site I mentioned says there are no “invalid” marriages even if they are begun in sin by adultery, and the scripute they give seems to support that.
They also say that there is also no going “back” on the remarriage because there is nothing in scripture to indicate that we should or can because it is still a valid marriage.
Scripture MAY indicate that the remarriage is a binding contract that makes us (basically) polygamists and adulterers but married non the less.
Per this site, we must repent and then uphold our “new” covenant so as not to commit more sin.
I honestly do not know, but, in over a year the Lord neither confirmed (in a way I “got” anyway) that I should leave the home nor did He confirm that the marriage was invalid, only a SIN that should not have happened in the first place. I agree with God on that and I know that I committed a SIN in remarrying and have been seeking His will on this ever since (hopefully with a pure heart).
I am thinking that I lean toward this new site due to over a year of asking for direction and not being led to leave the home at all.
We “fell off the wagon” so to speak a few months ago (about 2 or 3) mostly we are celibate but anyone who tried living with someone they are attracted to and not be intimate could probably tell you that it is not an easy task.
I was sure that because of that, God would open doors for one or both of us to go in another direction but that has not happened.
Thoughts anyone? God bless ladies and gents ours is a sad state. Oh that we would have all clung to God in our youth and obeyed the Word impeccably. Our Lord Jesus be with us all.
Completely Confused
Apr 13, 2016 @ 15:05:03
Last entry. Back to a full on no-go while “ex” is alive. I am done, we are not having a marital relationship. No more back and forth. Bye all.
popsdumonde
Apr 14, 2016 @ 00:38:43
I’m sorry to hear that you have continued to have so much difficulty and pain. I have read again your posts and can’t help wondering what difficulty in your marriage started you down the path you have taken. Have you ever had professional counseling as a couple or for yourself?
Faith
Apr 13, 2016 @ 20:36:54
PLEASE GET MARRIED TO THE ONE YOU LOVE AND DON’T BE SO SILLY! SHEESH!!
WE HAVE ALL SINED AND FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD… . NO ONE IS PERFECT. EVERONE SINS DAILY. NO SUCH THING AS BIG SIN OR SMALL SIN. DON’T PUT GOD IN A BOX AND RUIN A WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY TO LIVE AND LOVE. JESUS THE PURE LAMB OF GOD… THE SINLESS ONE… HAS PAID THE PRICE FOR US… . OUR SINS ARE FORGIVEN. HE HAS COMPLETED THE REQUIREMENT. HE HAS PAID THE PENALTY. NOW GET MARRIED AND DON’T DIVORCE AGAIN. DAVID HAD A THOUSAND WIVES AND STILL WAS CALLED THE MAN AFTER GOD’S OWN HEART. THE FATHER OF FAITH ABRAHAM HAD SARAH AND THE MAID. JACOB THE PATRIARCH HAD FOUR WIVES . SOLOMON THE WISEST KING HAD IN THE THOUSANDS. RAHAB WAS A PROSTITUTE WHO BECAME THE GREAT GREAT GRANDMA OF DAVID FROM WHOSE LINE THE SAVIOR CAME…. SO RELAX!. DO WHAT IS RIGHT TODAY AND DON’T TRY TO MESS THAT UP. GOOD LUCK. GOD BLESS YOU.
FAITH.
Ashley
Oct 12, 2016 @ 00:43:53
There are a few bible studies I have been doing I think would help you out and the main one on want to focus on today is called redeemed 😇 Angela Thomas Pharr is the author I know it will help you grow and maybe shed some light on the situation and if it does and I know it will please share with others God bless you 🙏🏻 You can find it at most Christian stores or online.
CurlyVirtue
Nov 27, 2016 @ 15:35:22
I am happy I found your blog. After deep study and fellowship with God, I too know that the choice is to reconcile or remain single if you separate or divorce. Remarriage while the first spouse is alive is adultery. I pray that we love each other unconditionally which would halt the spirit of divorce. God created marriage and hates divorce!
smsdavis
Aug 03, 2017 @ 13:51:49
Wow. Definitely a difficult topic and one I’ve had lots of experience with. YES…it is possible to rebuild even after divorce…BUT it can ONLY be done with BOTH people repenting and giving their lives fully to God. Most, I’m sad to say, will NEVER do this. If they are willing to repent and give up control, their marriage probably wouldn’t be where it is.
I know it is possible…because I have done this. My marriage didn’t quite make it to divorce…but it was dead. My husband was having an affair with at least two women and ready to leave. He told me daily he was filing but because I was pregnant he had to wait. God smacked him upside the head and he stayed. We spent FIVE YEARS working on rebuilding and even got to the point of helping others rebuild until he took his own life on Valentine’s Day. What I’ve discovered since then is that…although he appeared to repent on the surface…he never truly repented. He never confessed his affairs, always denied them, and he was hiding even darker secrets then that. IF one party does not truly repent to the other AND to God…then they will live in torment until either they leave again…or they leave this world!
The church, at least 99% of them, want NOTHING to do with a difficult marriage. Difficult marriages are messy, time consuming and need a LOT of help. Churches, in my opinion these days, only care about their income level and if they have to assign a pastor to help with your marriage for 2 years, they are losing productivity.
Although my church, a very, very large one, did help a little bit with my late husband and my’s marriage, they had two people that were willing to work on the marriage. They gave us a little bit of time then pushed us off to secular counseling. Which is NOT what people need.
Why then do I know the church doesn’t care? Because I made the mistake of remarrying a year after my husband died. I had 6 children aged 14 months to 14 years when my husband died and I was drowning. I needed HELP. A man came along who assured me God sent him to help me. Turns out he was nothing but a lying con man. BUT…he went to our church and said he was committed to God. So…we went to the church for help. They gave us one counseling session then again sent us to secular counseling.
What this man needed was DELIVERANCE! Counseling does not help someone who has spent over 50 years living with demons! I do not believe in divorce and I’d seen God work miracles in my first husband so I refused to give up despite my husband leaving after 1 year of marriage. He came back…but he never repented to me nor to God. He left again a few months later and I prayed for him for SEVEN YEARS!
How then do I know the church won’t help? Because during that 7 years I stood completely alone. I would go up to the altar for prayer. My prayer was simple. Will you pray for my husband. That’s all. Nothing about him changing. Just pray for him. The altar minister said, “NO. I will not pray for him. You need to divorce him and move on.”
How do I know? Because I went to visit a pastor for counseling and I said, “can you tell me if you see anything in me that needs to change? What do I need to work on so that I can be ready to be a good spouse when God brings my husband back?” To which the pastor spent an hour telling me how horrible my husband was, that he was unable to be helped and that I should just move on.
How do I know? Because I passed a pastor in the hall one evening and he asked how I was doing. I said, “Would you pray for my husband?” To which he said, “No. You have prayed long enough for your husband. I will not pray for him.” When he said this I had to ask for a scriptural reference. I said, “I’m sorry. Can you point me to a scripture that says pray ___ times or ___ long and then if nothing changes move on? I have searched for that and I haven’t found it. What I have found are verses that say, “pray without ceasing”. If there is such a verse I would love to have it so that I can quit praing. But without a verse, I must continue to pray.” After this incident I was labeled “argumentative” and completely ignored and pushed aside. I was not allowed to attend any functions where single, separated people were allowed to be. They wanted me out of sight of the rest of the church. How dare I question a pastor!
I had one man at our church who was willing to stand with me and pray. He prayed for my husband daily I’m sure. He encouraged me never to give up.
When I speak with pastors who tell me to give up, move on and file for divorce and give me their interepretation of the BIble and God’s views on divorce which are WRONG, I ask them this question. Did God ever call anyone in the Bible to do anything that was easy? It seems to me reading the Bible every time God called someone all hell broke loose and their task was difficult. Mary…got pregnant…got shunned almost got divorced. David…spent years avoiding being killed. Elijah ran and hid in a cave in fear. The disciples…were always being put in prison, threatened, killed! When Jesus did miracles…they were miracles because they were IMPOSSIBLE. If God calls me to do something that is easy or within my ability to do…then it isn’t much credit to God when it happens. In order to be a miracle it has to at least seem impossible.
But not one pastor would ever agree with me. They would say, “God wants you to be happy.” Really? I’m sorry. Would you show me that verse? The Bible I’m familiar with says, “there will be trials”. The Bible I know pretty much assures that following Christ is going to be difficult and may even cost me my life.
This is my problem with church and why I no longer attend. Until I find a church and leadership that is following the BIBLE, all of it not just the parts that allow them to make a profit, then I will not be attending. Even my children can point out all the sins of our church and others and see the hypocrisy that runs rampant in them.
Yes, it is possible to restore a marriage. No, my second one has not been restored. He filed for divorce and immediately married his third wife only days later and…he’s taking all her money now. He has not repented. I no longer believe God will restore that marriage. I do believe I am released from that man and from having to pray for him but that release was from God…not from my time table that wasn’t met. If, however, God chooses to bring him to repentance then I will have to pray long and hard to see what God wants me to do. I have forgiven him. But he remarried which was another sin upon sin and the Bible is clear about remarrying someone who has already remarried after you! I will continue to pray for his soul…but not for his return.
Now, I am in that lot of people who are no longer allowed to marry. It was a difficult place to accept but I think now I have accepted my fate and I’m working on doing all I can for God as a single person.
popsdumonde
Aug 07, 2017 @ 03:29:23
Thank you so much for your contribution to this very painful discussion. How tragic it is that your husband committed suicide and that you were subjected to a con man.
I have been negligent in adding a post to this blog. I had a very emotionally draining experience with my former wife and will add that experience to my blog.
I am sorry that you have had the experiences you have had with the church. I found a group of “Standers” but even there the opinions, backed up with Scripture varied vastly. I do not wish to be legalistic nor do I desire to pick and chose scripture and cheapen grace, still learning.
Peace, hope and love,
Stan
Paul
Aug 07, 2017 @ 09:47:49
It took me more than nine years to marry the girl i was dating (it’s a long story; about sixteen years long) but, the short of it is that i knew in my heart if i married her and committed to her, because i loved her, then i must never commit adultery and never divorce her and remarry. While i might end up divorced; my understanding of Jesus’ teaching on marriage and remarriage is that anyone remarrying after divorce (wife or husband) commits adultery. This meant that i had to give everything of myself to our marriage, in spite of many huge difficulties and trials; including not having children even though i really wanted them (i am now 53 so it’s becoming less of an issue i suppose). I don’t understand how any Christian can reinterpret Jesus’ words “he that divorces his wife; and marrieth another, commits adultery. And he that marries her that is divorced commits adultery.” How is this not a black and white statement saying remarriage after divorce is adultery and a sin? I am tempted to run after other women sometimes, especially through some disappointed expectations in my marriage; but God has built this relationship from scratch, on His rock of Ages; and He is continuing to finish it. I hope you all can believe the same thing about divorce and remarriage; believing anything else seems to be the route to greater and greater sin. However, for people who have made the decision to have an affair which destroyed their marriage; or to leave an abusive spouse and remarry, or for other reasons, to divorce and remarry, i do not want to be condemmning. I have a good friend whom i witnessed at his wedding, knowing he was divorced (he is not a Christian). I asked my pastor what i should do (i.e. do i reject his invitation to be a witness at his remarriage)? My pastor said not to reject the invitation, because i could continue thereby as his friend and would have more opportunity to witness Christ to him later. The thing is, i felt it was wrong to do what i did but had no clear guidance about it. Now, his second marriage ended after less than a year and we don’t know why; and his ex feels condemmned by Jesus (as a Christian, i feel she should have at least known that it is sin to marry a divorcee; but i don’t want her to feel condemmned, either!). I wish the church said and did what is right according to the Word of God; but i don’t think most do: they seem to be following the spirit of the worldly. So, where then, to turn? Without solid Christian marriages and families, the USA, Canada, the UK and the rest of the world are all going to reap the just vengeance of God, who has said: “for God Himself shall judge adulterers.”